Feeling Like a Tourist . . . at Home

For the many of you who don't know yet, after a sudden change of events, Jess and I are back in Canada. Temporarily, however :)

We discovered at the beginning of the month, while renewing our tourist visas, that the only way to obtain the necessary visa in order to begin our job next month was to leave the country. After researching our options, we realized that we needed to return to Canada, and were just as surprised as all of you to be going home. And now, here we are.

I had already prepared myself to be gone until July, and with that preparation, had all the necessary homesickness in place. So now it feels like a special treat to be here. I'm enjoying absolutely everything. I can appreciate things I never appreciated before. As we drove home from the airport after Jess' dad picked us up, I was admiring how all the trees look without their leaves. Yes, dead-looking winter trees are indeed a thing of beauty. Silos too. Even the bitter cold is beautiful. It's amazing what being away does for you. I wish I could capture this feeling of appreciation and gratefulness that I have right now, and remember to feel this way every day for the rest of my life. It feels so good to be thankful, for the small details especially.

I'm excited to see what what the Lord has for us when we return to Brazil, but right now I'm especially thankful to be able to enjoy the present. I'm thankful for this selah. Pause, and calmly think of that.

Adventures in Pirénopolis

Yesterday seven of us headed out to Pirénapolis with a bag full of 18 sandwiches, a bottle of Fanta, various Canadian snacks that Jess and I have managed not to gobble up, and not enough water between us. We spent the day hiking, climbing, swimming in a river, and enjoying the beauty of cascading water. It was the kind of day that makes you want to plan many more similar adventures.



The crew before setting out: Felipe, Vinicius, Márcio, Joy, Jess, Lídia, Thiago



The climbing part: it was steep, and scary when you looked down. We climbed up huge mountains of broken up rock



A picture at the top of the mount. By now we were wishing to see the promised river and waterfalls, but they were still a long time in coming.



After having lunch while seated on large rocks near a picturesque water fall, we had a quick swim and then started making our way down the river. We walked barefoot where we could, put our socks and shoes on when we had to, took them off again each time we needed to cross the river, and kept each other from falling into the current. Here we are in one of our crossings.

Certainly Not in Canada

These are many of the things that remind us that we are far away from home (even though the normally unusual is becoming unusually normal as time goes on). Here are a few:

1) Showers - having to justify taking a shower in the morning - here showers are most often for the afternoon or evening. I tried, but I just end up feeling gross all day.
2) Salt and . . . toothpicks (as opposed to pepper) on the table
3) Blistering heat in November/December - the weather makes it very difficult to remember the month, that's for sure.
4) Shoes - fighting the feeling of wanting to remove my shoes after entering people's houses (somehow I haven't adjusted to that completely)
5) No cheddar cheese - it's been almost three months already! They have something they call cheddar cheese, but Jess and I discovered early on that what they really mean is cheese whiz. Not even close to the real thing.
6) Portugized English:
"A gente might have to sair soon"
"Is the key with you?"
7) Seatbelts - explaining to people that I wear a seatbelt even when I'm riding in the back seat because it's the law back home.
8) The absence of brown sugar. Haven't seen any since we've arrived. They've got something called mascavo, which is a dark sugar but powdery, and thick granuled white sugar, but no brown. I would never have imagined. It makes for experimentation when baking (which is right up Jess' alley).
9) It now feels wrong to put the toilet paper in the toilet, even when I can.
10) House plants growing outdoors - the most spectaclar so far was an enormous Ficus benjamina tree.
11) Computer keyboards - you have to learn to type differently or else you end up getting accents instead of apostrophes.
12) Common cutlery - steak knives are considerably more abundant than butter knives.
13) The News - a lot more blood and guts and gore up close than I ever remember seeing back home. We hear about it in Canada, but more often than not I find I actually see it here.
14) The price of Hagen Daaz ice cream - it's already considerably more expensive than other ice creams back home at $6 for 500mL, but here it goes for $9!
15) Maids/housekeepers - it's a respectable job and extremely common to have one here, but I just can't help feeling guilty about having someone hired to clean up after me.
16) Milk - most people use the kind that comes in cartons that don't need to be refrigerated until you open them - Ultra Heat Treated.
17) Gas stations - they're always full serve, and the attendants are often dressed up with blouses that are tucked into their matching pants, wearing a tie, or a little scarf, and waving the cars into their spots like planes coming in from landing.
18) The meal that comes after lunch - it can either be lanche, which consists of something light such as a sandwich and something to drink, or janta, which is a full meal. Or you can do both. This/these meal(s) take place anytime from about 6pm until midnight, and it never seems to be the same thing two days in a row. I've learned just to go with the flow, but truthfully I find it very confusing never knowing if I'm eating for the last time or not . . .
19) It being okay to give people nicknames based on their race, skin colour, body size/shape - we are often shocked. I'll leave it at that.
20) Noise - there are a lot more hard surfaces, a lot more tile, and a lot less insulation in buildings here than back home, which leads to lots of echo. I get auditory overload quite easily when there's a large group of people. At times I wish I could invent an ear funnel to siphon out the things I want to listen to in all of the noisy chaos.

Figaro, figaro

I´m excited because right now I have both time, and that inner motivation to write. The two things don´t always occur simultaneously, so it makes me happy when they do! We´re at Francy Anne´s house in Aguas Claras (a satellite city near Brasilia), and everyone is napping this afternoon, but I can´t sleep even though I´m tired so here goes . . .

The title of today´s post is in reference to my first-ever opera. On Friday evening Francy Anne told us that Angelica had a friend who studies music at UNB (one of the main universities in Brasilia) and that they were putting on an opera for free . . . so a bunch of us went and it was great! It was the students´ culmination of a semester´s worth of work: The Barber of Seville. I have no knowledge of operas, but it made me want to learn more about them. It would have been nice to have read up about the story before we went. When we got there Jess was like, `´Oh no! It´s going to be in Portuguese and I won´t understand anything! Do you think they´ll have subtitles?`` It turns out they did! The opera was in Italian, and they had two screens on either side of the theatre with the entire script going by on powerpoint slides . . . in Portuguese. We didn´t catch absolutely everything, but we got the main idea for sure. I had the strange sensation of not knowing where I was a few times as the opera went on. We were in a very famliar University theater setting (which made me feel like I could be in North America) watching an Italian opera in Portuguese. Hmmm . . .

Okay, I´ve skipped over about two weeks of life since I haven´t really written about our time since we left Brasilia last. We had a great time in Anapolis at Marcio´s house. And I´m not just saying that because I know you´ll eventually read this Marcio :). Marcio´s Mom and Dad, Fransisco and Guiomar travel a lot, but they don´t stay where they travel to for very long, so we got to meet a lot of people and see a lot of different places in a very short space of time. On our trip to Palmas we also stayed over night in Ceres (with blood relatives) and in Uruacu (with Christian relatives). Upon our return we visited Goiania briefly, and then on our trip back to Francy Anne´s house we stopped in at Gama (the same day that the Brasil vs. Portugal soccer game took place there), Taguatinga and somewhere else that I don´t remember the name of. While we were in Anapolis we basically just had a good time hanging out together - talking, trying to fix the internet connection but making things worse instead, watching movies, playing Uno, having in-depth and non in-depth conversation, eating . . . It´s not just the things we did, though, that were important. It was just being able to spend time together that made it so nice.

So, about our job situation. We´re in the process of officially registering everything and applying for the working visa. I´ll spare you the details beause it´s neither intriguing, nor relevant for most of you. Suffice it to say that I´m trying not to be nervous about having to rely on other people to get everything done by our December 15th deadline. I kind of feel like I´m back in university doing a group project that I would rather do myself, but alas, this is real life. Hey, maybe this is why they make you do those projects after all! Anyhow, we´re waiting for a package to arrive within a couple of weeks and I´m trying to trust the Lord that all the people we have to rely on are doing their parts properly.

Which brings me to my key phrase from life as of late: let go and let Him do it. I´ve come to realize that I am constantly (though sometimes unconciously) struggling to control and direct so many aspects of life. It´s become apparent in very simple situations like the one I described in the last paragraph. I get all tied up in knots when I can´t organize things and make them go the way I´d like them to. And even when I pray and tell the Lord I´m giving things completely into His hands, it´s not long until I realize that though I´ve said the words, the ´fingers´ of my heart are gripping tightly to that very thing I told the Lord was His. But He´s won a victory and I just realized it a couple days ago. It´s been two and a half months since I began to pray for Him to take control of one specific thing (during which time I battled Him all the while), but in the end He´s done it. He´s brought me to the point where I can truly say, `Lord, Your will be done` and let go completely. I can see, looking back, that He´s used the people I´ve been with, the situations I´ve encountered, and a lot of time in order to do something in me that neither I nor any other human being could accomplish. There seem to be a lot of situations lately, not only in my own life but in so many people´s lives who I´m connected to, in which the Lord is using time to get whatever it is that He is after in each of us. Which is why I love to be reminded of my Mom´s line over and over again: it´s a good thing we know that Jesus is Lord.

We´ll be in Brasilia for an indefinite amount of time, and I don´t know where we´ll be going next, since everything depends on everything, as it so often does. We will post more pictures as soon as possible. Sorry we haven´t done it yet!

Pictures from Palmas

We travelled with Marcio's family to Palmas to visit his brother, Maurilio, who has been living there for about 6 months. Everyone warned us about the heat we were going to encounter there, but as it happened, the temperature dropped during the time we were there to bearably warm. These are a few pictures from our trip.



Sanna and Jess on our motorboat ride in Palmas. We were taken to a little island where we got out just to snap a few pictures. I swam in this water and it was the first time so far that there was no cold shock upon getting into the water. I found out the next day that it´s a bad time of year to swim because of the heightened presence of sting rays. I´m so glad it was the next day that I found out because I thoroughly enjoyed the swim!



Fransisco (Marcio's dad) and their long-time friend, Graciel. At this farm we hiked to a small river and swam near a small water fall (think very small).



Travellin' in the back of the pickup - Jess, Joy, Lidia. I eventually got to drive the truck myself back in Anapolis, at Marcio´s insistance. It was only about a 4-5 minute trip between Lidia´s house and Marcio´s. I was nervous at first, because I don´t have much experience driving standard. I´ve only ever driven Mom and Dad´s car. After just a few minutes it was fun though. For me anyway. Jess was sweating by the time we got home and Marcio told me later that I scared him too!

Playing Catch-Up

It´s been well over a week already since I last wrote because we´ve been on the road again. I´m sorry to keep everyone waiting so long.
I´ll try to catch up to the present as quickly as possible. . .

The Woodfords alerted me to the fact that I failed to communicate properly about the job Jess and I accepted back in October. After re-reading what I wrote, I could see why you were confused, so thanks for letting me know! What I forgot to say was that the job we accepted begins in January, and goes for the duration of 2009, which means that we still have about 2 months of free time, which we´re using to travel around and visit friends in various parts of the country.

We stayed in Brasilia from Saturday morning until Monday afternoon. On Saturday we went out for lunch and had salad. It was wonderful. I hate using superlatives like ´best´too freely, but it´s been a long time since I´ve had the kind of salad that is packed with goodies like this one was. I saved the sheet we used to choose our ingredients, so that sometime in the future we can recreate in similar fashion. After the meeting on Saturday night we headed out with quite a crowd to eat pastels. Mmmmm!

On Sunday, Lu made us a wonderful salmon and spaghetti lunch and invited Francy Anne and Francoise over too, so we had a nice time all together. After the meeting at night,Lu made popcorn in their pipoqueira and we watched Mary Poppins together. Such fun! I didn’t realize how antiquated the movie’s language is until this time, when we watched it with the English subtitles. As Jess put it, we somehow always get the gist of it without actually realizing exactly what they are saying.

I was awoken with a start Monday morning, by Jess, who had awoken with a start to the sound of Carlão calling up from the ground below outside the apartment building. We met Carlão and his family (his wife is Carmen and two daughters) last year during our travels in Africa. They have been in Africa for two years, and now they are moving back to Brazil for a little while, but so far only Carlão is here because his daughter is finishing up her school year in Joburg. Neither we nor he knew we would reunite here in Brazil, and so it was a nice surprise on all sides when we each discovered the other party was here . . . now! Since we arrived in Brazil we’ve met up with almost all of the people we were together with in Africa last year. It’s been kind of a strange sensation for everyone – for us to be with them all again, and for them to see us in their homeland. You go to a little corner of the earth and make friends with people you never knew, and when you leave you don’t know if you’ll ever see them again. It makes the world seem so small.

We’d arranged to spend Monday with Carlão and James, another friend that Jessica spent a lot of time with when she lived in Botswana. When we arranged to get together, however, we didn’t except Carlão to show up outside our doorstep before we were out of bed. Needless to say, it was the quickest out-of-bed-experience we’ve had since we arrived. After a quick breakfast we dropped Lu off at work and then picked James up - Carlão had called him at 6am to make sure he’d be ready bright and early. We had a great time together, walking in the Parque da Cidade (City Park), sitting and drinking agua de coco (they drill a hole in the top of a coconut and you stick a straw in and drink the coconut water out of it), all the while catching up on the last 10 months of life. We had lunch at a Churrascaria (a restaurant where waiters come with different kinds and cuts of meat on big metal spits and serve you whatever you’d like to eat until you cannot eat anymore). It was delicious. My favourite things there were barbequed cheese (I always think of Aeden, my dear little cheese fanatic, every time I eat good cheese), barbequed banana (covered in sugar and cinnamon), and quail eggs (not barbequed - they’re tiny little eggs that are common here, but I’d never had the chance to try them). I always feel kind of guilty about the way I enjoy churrascos here. It’s not that I dislike meat, but besides chicken hearts, I don’t get excited about meat the way I’m supposed to (ie. the way Brazilians do). It’s all the ‘extras’ that make me really happy.

In the afternoon Carlão dropped us off at the bus station with our luggage, and we headed off to Anápolis where Márcio and his parents were waiting to pick us up in the pickup truck that would soon become very familiar to us. More to come on that, and more pictures to come soon.

One last thing before I go is that Luciana gave us a cell phone (thanks again!) so now we’ve got a number if you need/want to reach us. If you want the number, send me an email and I’ll send it to you.

Chegamos

We (Esdras, Rodrigo, Jess and I) were a little rushed to get to Sao Jose do Rio Preto last night, but we made it to the bus station about 10 minutes before the bus was supposed to leave. Thankfully it was an hour late, so we bought our tickets and headed out to grab something to eat, knowing we had to be back before 9:30, the new departure time. We got back in time, and it turned out that the bus had already left. Somehow in the time we left, the man who sold us the tickets forgot he´d about us and told the driver to go ahead because there were no more passengers. So the company called the bus to wait, and put us in a taxi so that we could catch up with them. Never a dull moment!

We arrived in Brasilia at 7:30 this morning, after a night of fitful sleep trying to ignore the barulho made by the snorer next to us. The wheel on Jess´suitcase has stopped rolling again, and so she had to carry it through the station. I had to use the non-extendable handle on my suitcase (which forces me to hunch rather awkwardly as I pull it behind me) as I gently pushed our small suitcase (I´m pretty sure one of its wheels is on the way out) in front of me. It was pretty slow going between the two of us, and we had to stop now and then so Jess could rest her arms. There´s no doubt about it. We were a spectacle as we moved. People stared. Shamelessly. The upside, we laughed about later, is that if anyone else tries to take off with our luggage, they´re in for a surprise.

Lu and Marcelo were there to pick us up, except we were waiting where they weren´t and vice versa. So it took us half an hour to meet up. We had breakfast at a bakery and ate the best misto quente (ususally a ham and melted cheese sandwich) I´ve ever had - peito de peru (turkey breast) and queijo minas (a fresh, white cheese). We´re at Lu´s house now, resting and catching up on lost sleep. I´ll keep you posted as things unfold here.

And We´re Off (Again)

Today marks 8 weeks since the day Jess and I arrived in Brazil. So far we´ve been in 5 different cities and lived with 3 different families. Even though our lives aren´t incredibly busy day-to-day, it feels like so much has happened in the past 2 months. It´s been incredibly interesting to observe another culture from the inside out. Right from the start I noticed that my mindset was different than it´s ever been before when I travelled to a foreign country. Deciding to live somewhere makes you look at everything differently. You stop looking at things in terms of ´them´and ´us´ because you´ve decided to become ´them´. That doesn´t make you ´them´automatically, of course, but it sure does change the way you look at things.

I have a distinct feeling lately that I have no idea about anything. I have come to many strong conclusions in my life, and have gotten to the crux of many matters. Yet after the events of the past two months I feel like, `I don´t know´ is the safest answer I can give if I am going to be honest about things. My strongest feelings and my most logical thoughts, both of which I´ve come to trust over the years, simply aren´t trustworthy. And I can´t depend wholeheartedly on other people, because when it comes right down to it, nobody knows anything for sure. Except Jesus. I can only depend on the Lord. Feelings that I´ve been sure of for so long, it´s like they´ve all gone down the drain and I´m not sure of anything. But I´m sure that I can trust Jesus. I´m sure that He´s in control. And I´m so glad because I am so incredibly changeable, I scare myself. I can only depend on Jesus. Wow.

It´s the time to say good-bye again and this is definitely the hardest so far. We´re leaving the Spagnol family in Barretos after having stayed with them for three weeks. I didn´t know it was possible to understay your welcome, but that is definitely the impression I´ve got about leaving. We´ve gotten attached to the family, dog and cat included. Sigh.

Esdras will drive us out to Sao Jose do Rio Preto this evening and we´ll take an 11 hour overnight bus ride to Brasilia. Luciana and Francy Anne will pick us up, and we´ll stay with Lu for the weekend. I´m not sure when I´ll get the chance to write again, because apparently we may be travelling with Marcio (yes, he´s back in Brazil!) and his family to Palmas on Tuesday. For an indefinite amount of time. We´ve had very little details about the plans. But we´re used to living on very few details :)

Going with the Flow

We went to the post office (Correios) today to mail a letter, and I had been told that you could buy envelopes there. So Jess and I walked into the air-conditioned post office which has permanently open doors, and asked if we could buy an envelope. The lady said, yes, where are you sending the letter. When I said, `Canada` she said, that, no, sorry, we couldn´t buy the envelope there but we could go across the street to the nursery to get what we needed. So we walked across the street and past all the potted plants for sale, wondering why the nursery had the special envelopes for Canada, but it turned out it was the opposite. What we needed to buy was a non-special plain brown envelope - 25 centavos each.
There are lots of things I don´t get, but to quote Kiran, I just go with the flow, because the flow keeps changing.

Just to let you know how hot it is here in Barretos, last night we went out for acai just before midnight, and all of us were commenting how fresh and cool it felt. It was 27 degrees outside!

It´s a Girl!

There´s a new name I say just to make myself smile now: Sophie Joy. My youngest neice was born last Wednesday and I think it´s so amazing that it´s possible to cry because you love someone you´ve never even met before. It must be incredible to be a parent, because the feelings associated with being an aunt overwhelm me again and again. This is my eighth neice/nephew. It appears that no matter how many you have, there´s always room for one more in your heart.

Which reminds me of a cute story about Nate, Sophie´s 3 year-old brother. A couple of weeks ago I got to talk to Nathanael and he was pretty excited about something. He built up the anticipation with, `Auntie Joy, um, me and my dad, and my mom and Ava . . . we have something to tell you´. Since Hannah´s due date has only a couple weeks away, I was thinking that maybe he was going to break the big news to me that the baby had been born: ´. . . um, we went on vacation and it was really fun!´ It was apparently a vacation never-to-be forgotten.

Happy Robbery to You

The night after we arrived here in Barretos was Larissa´s (Esdras´sister´s) birthday. Jess and I made a big double batch of brownies from a new recipe we got off the internet. We made it into a cake by adding a topping that Marli had used on a cake when we were in Piracicaba. It turned out to be a great combination. Anyhow, we were all in the kitchen at night eating and talking. The kitchen here is separated from the rest of the house, in the backyard behind the pool. I guess you´d call it a summer kitchen, but since it´s summer year-round here, they use it year-round. It´s nice that you don´t have to heat up the whole house when you cook.


So, while we were in the kitchen celebrating Larissa´s birthday, a robber managed to get into the house and make off with money and a cell phone. (It´s the cell phone that Esdras lent us while we were travelling, so for those of you who have the number, don´t bother phoning anymore.) Not only that, but he took off with one of the controllers for the automatic gate at the front of the house. So all the controllers had to be changed and the frequency to open it changed as well. I know it´s a creepy feeling to have your house broken in at anytime, but it´s especially ´uneasing´ when 10 of us were here and were wide awake. There´s a humorous side to it, though. All of us have have been suffering from post-robber syndrome. Any strange noise at night sets us all off.

One night I woke up to what I imagined was the sound of the front gate opening. I lay in bed trying my best to reason myself out of my irrational fears, but just when I would get them under control I would hear another strange noise. Eventually I got up to make sure that the window was indeed locked (so that the robber wouldn´t squeeze himself through the narrow metal bars on the window I suppose :) and Jess was like, `Oh good! Are you awake too?!´ She, too, had heard noises and was also working herself up to the panic stage before she realized that I was awake. Eventually we realized that it was just a terribly windy night and things were blowing all over the place. Eventually, when I still couldn´t relax I just gave up, put earplugs in, and had a great sleep until the morning. Esdras dreamed one night about the robber walking past his window even though he wasn´t sleeping next to one, and we´re all sensitive to the dog barking at night. Many of our jokes include the robber in some form or another. At least it´s fun to laugh at ourselves!

We´ve made the decision

I didn´t intend to be quite as mean as I´ve ended up being, keeping you in suspense and all. Truthfully, I wasn´t trying to be mean, it just happened! Actually, what happened is that Jess and I needed to email some people personally about our decision about the job, and since we did that I´ve been a combination of lazy and busy, and am only getting around to writing again now. So sorry to keep you waiting so long, but now there´s good news: the wait is over.

We decided to accept the job. That´s the short version and if you´re satisfied with it, feel free to skip the rest. For those of you who like details, here´s the long version. After visiting the school in Sao Jose dos Campos and being presented with the offer, Jess and I thought and thought and talked and talked (which was kind of the same as thinking and thinking because we tend to think and feel the same way about things such as these) until we had worked ourselves into that point where you have absolutely no answer whatsoever. Not even a slight idea about what you think the answer is.

Then something interesting happened. We stopped talking about it. Without making a conscious decision to do so, we just stopped. Every now and then we´d vaguely refer to the fact that we had to make a decision about the coming year of our lives, but that was it. I believe that it was something the Lord did, because even though we need (in a sense) to make the same decision, we needed to hear what the Lord was saying to us individually. We´ve spent almost every waking moment of the last 6 weeks together, so it seems like a small miracle to me that suddenly we were able to just leave this huge topic aside and continue going about our lives for a few days. After we realized what was happening, then we started reveling in the fact that we weren´t talking about it to the point that we had to force ourselves to sit down and talk it out after a week had gone by.

On Sunday evening we realized that we should probably give the principal an answer the next day, so it was a matter of ready-or-not, here it comes (the answer that is). I had flip flopped quite a bit (somedays yes, somedays no) throughout the week, but eventually the Lord did something in me to show me that it wasn´t about the job specifically, but about where my heart was in relation to the job. I found out later that the same thing happened with Jess. We were both brought to the point that we realized that the job itself wasn´t attracting us. Anyway, when we spoke, I went first and said, `If I have to give an answer, then I think my answer is yes, but I have no idea why because I´m not excited about it at all.` And Jess was like, `ME TOO!` Somehow the Lord brought us to the same weird point by the time we had to make the decision. Both of us expected some kind of emotional confirmation, or overwhelming sense of peace to accompany whatever decision it was. But it was kind of like we got the answer detached from any emotion. So we prayed together again and sent off an email the next day to accept the jobs we´ve been offered. I must say it´s the most tentative step forward I´ve taken in my life.

I don´t think I wrote much about the job last time. We are going to be assistant teachers - Jess will be teaching music and I´ll be with the grade 1, 2, 3´s - either all three classes or just one of them, I´m not sure yet. The school provides us with a place to live, a hot lunch at school with the kids every day (We tried it out. It´s great!), transportation, grocery money, health insurance, dental coverage and a salary. We´re there to assist that teacher in the activities every day, but we´re not going to be responsible for planning all the lessons or evaluating the students. My personal favourite parts of the job are that we get to wear jeans every day (no longer to I have to look forward to Friday for that!) and that the teacher-student relationships are very human.

To tell you the truth, I´m still not crazy excited about it all. I´ve actually been quite overwhelmed with homesickness now that we´ve decided to stay. I know that everything will be fine, but there´s a lot of unknown involved. And for me that´s pretty scary. But one of you sent me something in an email recently that says perfectly the point of situations like this:

It's funny how sometimes we come to the realization that we have no control of our future whatsoever, no matter how hard we try to prove ourselves otherwise.

The Lord has been hiding Himself from me lately, which I haven´t taken to very well. But yesterday He used a verse to speak and meet me where I am:

But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and through us makes evidence the fragrance of the knowledge of God everywhere. (2 Corinthians 2:14)

1. God always leads us.
2. His leading us is a triumph - it´s always something triumphant that He has conquered us for Himself.
3. Always means it doesn´t depend on how I feel (I don´t have to feel triumphant for it to be a triumph that He is leading me).
4. Wherever we go, God can use us to spread the fragrance of Himself.
5. Always and everywhere don´t depend on me, but on God.

I don´t necessarily feel these realities right now, but I believe them and it encourages me to know that they are true. Thank you all for your prayers.

Oh, and one last thing. It´s been fun discovering little by little who is reading this blog. We love to hear from you when you write!

Barretos . . . finally!

At 4am on Monday morning Jess and I arrived both early and late in Barretos. We were earlier than expected, because the bus had left Sao Jose dos Campos an hour later than it should have, and still managed to here arrive on time. Hmmm. We were later than expected, because our original plan was to be here three weeks ago. Nevertheless, it was an all-around happy arrival, except for the fact that the extendable handle on my (new) suitcase decided to snap when we got here. Which should make it interesting to get around from now on. The other two suitcases we brought along have semi-wobbly wheels that give the distinct impression that they will stop working if not pulled with the utmost care. Jess has already had to take her suitcase apart and fix a wheel that gave up turning. So for now, no more quick getaways. Not that we´ve actually have had to to make any quick getaways yet, but I sometimes imagine the two of us having to tear off with our luggage bouncing behind us in situations of danger. I´ll have to stop imagining those pressing situations now.

Enough about suitcases, on to Barretos. This place is great. I just asked Jess for words to describe Barretos. Here´s her contribution for today: blistering hot. She´s actually saying quite a bit more, but it´s rather random since she just woke up from an uncomfortably hot nap and isn´t thinking straight. It´s currently 33 degrees and . . .

I heard a splash in the pool just now and went to see if what I thought had happened just happened. It did. Jess just let herself fall into the pool clothes and all! It´s that hot.

The population of Barretos is about 120 000. Esdras´mom described the naming of the streets around the house as ´like New York City - they´re all numbered´. So it´s nice and easy to get around. Last night Esdras´ dad and sister took us for a tour of the city so we could get a feel for the place. It´s really nice here! It feels calm and peaceful and, as Jess described, if we had to drive here in Brazil, this would be a nice city to start off in. Right near the house are three lakes that we walked around our first evening here. The city is famous for an annual rodeo that takes place August/Septemberish. A million people pass through over the course of 10 days.

I think I´ll end here for now because it really is too hot to be sitting in front of the computer. I know that many of you are probably waiting to hear about what decision we finally came to about the job, but that will have to wait for another day.

Decisions, Decisions

Right now we’re in a house that isn’t gated and walled. The front door is partially made of glass and they don’t necessarily lock it up when we leave. We can go running or walking at night in the pitch dark and there’s nothing to be afraid of . . . Nope, we haven’t left Brasil. We’re on a military air base in São José dos Campos, staying with friends, the husband of whom is a Major in the air force. It’s most certainly an interesting place to be, but I especially wish Wincy, Rebecca, Kiran and Mimi could come stay with us too, because you guys could appreciate it to the depths!

So, on Thursday afternoon we went to the school we came to check out. We were given a tour and then we had an interview (I don’t know what else to call it but really they were just offering us the jobs in person). It’s so nice to be able to talk things out with real people as opposed to communicating over the internet. On Friday morning we went back to sit in on some classes, which was great because we could get a real feel for what things would be like if we were to accept. The school is doing everything for us to get us to accept – the offer is great, and everyone we talk to about it says we most likely won’t get anything like it again. They’re willing to provide much more than just a basic salary. Plus, there’s the fact that they want to hire both of us. So you’d think that this would be a done deal – sign on the dotted line. You’d think.

But somehow it’s not. I’ve thought it through, Jess has thought it through, and we’ve talked it through – all numerous times. We’re both extremely indecisive to begin with, but I think something more than the inability to make a decision is holding us back from saying either yes or no. I really don’t feel strongly one way or the other at this point, but I’ve come to realize that it’s not because I’m waiting for a better offer or that I would rather be in a different place. I just want to be sure that here is where the Lord wants us to be. And so far I don’t know. I’ve discovered that the Lord can’t be rushed into things . . . I just have to wait until He speaks. And it’s in the waiting that faith has the opportunity to grow. Because during the waiting time I have to deal with the thought, over and over, “What if you have to make a decision and you still don’t feel anything? What then?” But I can take all those moments of doubt and keep giving the decision to him, over and over again. So it’s learning to trust, even while He is silent, that He will speak at the right time. Pray for us.

I’m not sure how much longer we’ll stay here. I’ve given up trying to make long-term plans (as in, a week ahead!). Last time our two or three day stay turned into two weeks, and our stay here is also going to be longer than initially planned. So I’ll just have to write and let you know when we’re packing our suitcases again.

Not Good. Not Bad. Just Different.

Jess and I composed a short list of some differences we've noticed between here and the homeland.

On driving . . .

In Canada: Watch out for pedestrians and when you change lanes or turn a corner check your blind spot. Twice.
In Brasil: Gun it.

On crossing the street . . .

In Canada: Look both ways and saunter across.
In Brasil: Look both ways and run for your life.

On small talk with complete strangers . . .

In Canada: "Nice weather, eh?" (Pause). "Yep." (Silence).
In Brasil: "So I had an operation last week and the doctor told me that . . ."
"Oh really? My mother had the same thing done last year and now . . ."

On visiting other places . . .

In Canada: "Oh, I have a cousin who lives there."
In Brasil: "Oh, I have a cousin who lives there. I'll give you his number and he can pick you up at the bus station. He can help you out with whatever you need and you can stay at his house for as long as you want."

On laws . . .

In Canada: Rules are rules.
In Brasil: Rules are always negotiable.

On feeling shame . . .

In Canada: The smallest things are potentially embarassing.
In Brasil: There's no reason to be embarassed about anything.

Bertioga

If you look closely you'll see that, yes, I managed to get a sunburn just on the back of my neck by pulling all my hair back and putting sunscreen only on my face. It was cloudy and we were just out for a walk on our first day there, but somehow the sun shone through and voila, I was quite literally a redneck . . . until I got sunburnt completely the next day (just kidding, Mom. I put on lots of sunscreen :).

It's amazing how salty the ocean is for us freshwater beach people. I couldn't shake the feeling that I had a sore throat and was gargling with salt water anytime I got a mouthful. Which was often. We swam in the ocean even though everyone told us the water was freezing. It was the same temperature we're used to swimming in at beaches back home. Rafa taught us how to ride the waves in on a morey board. Such a cool feeling! I can understand how surfing is a lot of fun. It's such a thrill to be pushed forward by rushing waves.


Okay, I've managed to distract myself long enough. That suitcase really must get packed!

Goodbyes and a Detour

We leave Piracicaba tomorrow morning and it's time for goodbyes again . . . Sigh. Carlinhos, Marli and Rafael have become our family here in the last two weeks, and we're finding it difficult to go. It seems like it's never a good time to say goodbye to people you care about.
I can't describe in words the kind of love and care we've had from this family who we barely knew when we arrived at their home. This past weekend as we came home from the beach with them, I was realizing again that God reaches people through people. Since we arrived, Jess and I have had times of prayer together that amaze me because we can sense the Lord directing the prayers that we pray. One thing that keeps coming up in our prayers is that we are expecting and depending on Him to take care of us. And it hit me as we drove home that He is already answering those prayers - through people. Suddenly I realized that it's through this family that the Lord is caring for us. I know this probably sounds like it's not such a big deal, but sometimes I guess I expect the Lord to answer prayers in big miraculous ways in which He acts all on His own. But He moves in very normal ways through the people around us. I didn't expect to write all this when I began, but to be loved by people for no reason is a pretty overwhelming feeling. . .

And now for the detour part. We were supposed to be going to Barretos earlier this week, but we got an email about a job offer in another city called Sao Jose dos Campos last Thursday, and we are going there tomorrow to scout things out. The offer is far better than anything we were expecting, and it seems as though it has been tailor made for us. The city is about 3 hours from here (1 hour from Sao Paulo). There are lots of thoughts and feelings to be dealt with in considering accepting a job (or turning it down for that matter), but in the end, it's really the Lord's will that is most important. So we're praying, and going to see, and trusting that the Lord will speak at the right time about what we should do. We have a little less than two weeks before they need an answer from us.

Okay, the suitcase calls. Arg. It's all the little things that don't fit well and make the suitcase bulge that are left to squeeze in. Here's hoping that I don't have to pull everything out and start all over again . . .

Jabuticaba

Marli took us to her family’s chacara (farm) last Wednesday afternoon. When her father bought the farm he planted fruit and nut trees all over the property and around the perimeter he planted white pines which are now massive and make you feel especially tiny as you walk beside them. It was a beautiful day, and so fun to have Marli take us around to see all the different fruit trees . I don’t know if I’ll be able to remember them all, but there were trees (and vines) of cashew, macadamia, pecan, tamarind, mango, orange, coffee, grape, passion fruit, pear, star fruit, and papaya, but our favourite of all was the jabuticaba (ja-boo-chee-cah-bah).

Speaking in terms of theme and variation, Jabuticaba is definitely the variation of a theme. I would never have imagined a fruit tree like it. In fact, it’s the kind of tree you come to expect to come across in a Dr. Seuss book. Jabuticaba fruit are small and perfectly round and they look like something of a cross between a cherry and a grape. They have a thick skin that you don’t eat, like on concord grapes. You pop the white insides into your mouth, and there’s a crunchy seed in the centre that you can eat. The flavour of the fruit is something like a black currant. The coolest part about them, though, is the way they grow on the tree. They grow directly on the branches and trunk of the tree, attached in bunches by short green stems that you can’t actually see until you start picking them. By far, this was the easiest fruit picking I’ve ever done. You can just run your hand along the tree and the Jabuticaba fall into your bucket below. This is no Blueberries for Sal picking. It's more like, "Kuplink-kuplank-ku-WOAH the whole bucket is full!"

Jabuticaba trees from afar - cute and unassuming:

Jabuticaba up close:

Jabuticaba up closer:

After seeing Jabuticaba trees, Jess and I talked about how amazing Life is . . . of all the different life forms that exist on the earth, you can't divide them into right ways and wrong ways of growing, for instance. Life forms are so vast, and yet each is so unique. There’s definite organization, and yet somehow Life is still spontaneous - full of amazing surprises that don’t quite fit the mold . . . like the Jabuticaba.

Piracicaba Continues

Yesterday Jessica and I went to meet with the lady who runs a well-known English school here in Piracicaba. She's actually about the same age as we are, so don't think lady as in old lady :). Marli (the friend we are staying with) had already made the contact for us, which was great. Neither Jess nor I were thrilled about the meeting, just because it's a little nerve-wracking to meet with someone who may be hoping to hire you when you still haven't figured out just what you're doing here, or where you're going, or how long you're staying . . . But it turned out to be so much better than we expected, that I'm still a little blown away by everything that happened during our conversation. Essentially, all the fears and doubts that had built up over the last two weeks about being able to work here in Brazil were were not only calmed, but my expectations of teaching situations here were far surpassed. This lady is willing to help us in any way possible, whether or not we end up teaching in her school or not. She has offered to send us to an all-expenses training course for one month, which would essentially set us up to teach in many different areas of the country. For this particular school, the hours are great and the pay is just right. The school atmosphere was extremely comfortable . . . the kind of place that makes you want to teach. You can be a real person with the students as opposed to just being "the teacher". She was super understanding of our current inability to commit to anything. Actually, she articulated our situation quite well for us - we hardly had to say anything. I walked away with a better understanding of what I'm doing right now in terms of job searching. We don't have to make any quick decisions - we've got over a month to continue travelling and feeling out different cities and schools before she needs an answer from us. And to top it all off, she gave us her personal email at the end and told us to contact her anytime we need anything or if we just want to hang out as friends. Brasilians never cease to amaze me with their friendliness!

Today we went to school with Marli. She teaches English in a private school. Jess and I did a Question and Answer sessions in English with five of her classes. It was a lot of fun, and it was especially great getting to see a school here from the inside. We have lots of schools back home to compare to! A lot of the stressful parts of being a teacher back home just don't exist here. Again, you can be a real human being with the students.

Yesterday and today we were able to spend time with Davi and Camilla, oh, and of course Giovana too! It was really nice. Giovana is the Brasilian Aeden - she's got blue eyes and curly blond hair. It's cute because I remember how much Camilla loved playing with Aeden when they lived with us.

The current plans are as follows. Marli's family has invited us to spend the weekend with them at their beach house, and then we will be going to a city called Barretos on Monday. We're looking forward to see what Barretos is all about because everytime (without fail) we tell people we are going to Barretos they either laugh at us, or ask, "WHY are you going THERE?" When we say we're visiting a friend, everyone's like, "Oh, okay". Apparently Barretos is well-known for a big rodeo that unfortunately just ended a little while ago. My curiosity is piqued . . .

Today the Lord's word to me is this:

"But now, this is what the LORD says— He who created you, O [Joy], He who formed you, O [Joy]: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine."
(Isaiah 43:1)

I wish I could explain the impact it's having on me to realize and see and know that I belong to Jesus , but I hardly understand it myself. It's hitting something deep in my being, and I'm really at a loss for words.

A Few Days in Pictures

We've been in Piracicaba for a few days now, and we're not sure how much longer we'll be staying. Here's a little of what we've seen and done since we arrived.

Community Gardens (Hortas comunitárias) – Gardens on plots of land right within the city which provide the surrounding neighbourhoods with fresh leafy greens. This one is just around the corner from our house and they grow lettuce (alface) , arugula (rúcula) , collards (couve) and swiss chard (almerão). Definitely cooler than Food Basics :).

Barbecued banana (Banana assada) – There happened to be a churrasco (Brazilian-style BBQ) for the group of Brasilian students that Jessica taught in London this summer (we are staying with the teacher that brought all of them. She and her family have been so incredibly welcoming since even before we arrived!) I got to eat my beloved coração (chicken heart) yet again (that was for you Karla!) as well as lots of other meats and salads. I’ve never been a huge meat-eater, but I have to admit that I’m liking churrascos more and more. For dessert we had something I’d never tried before – they barbecued a banana, sprinkled cinnamon and then added ice cream with nuts and a bit of caramel glaze. I thought this was a dessert right up Hannah and Joel and Dave (Marcus’) alley . . . it would have gone well with our last meal together, eh?

Off-road motorcycle racing (Enduro) – The son of the family we are staying with had a race this weekend and we met up with him at two of the stops where the racers re-fuel (with gasoline and food). They start early in the morning and have to ride all day, following a special kind of map through all kinds of terrain. What’s really interesting about it is that it’s not a race for speed, but an endurance race. There are specific posts where their time is noted down, and they have to aim to pass those points at an exact time. It’s better to be late than to be early. If you pass earlier than the ideal time, it’s minus two points for every second, but if you’re late, it’s minus one point per second. The person with the fewest faults is the winner. It was a cold, wet day but we couldn’t very well complain about how we felt after seeing all the shivering, muddy drivers come in.

A wood burning stove (Fogão a lenha) – On our way back from the first re-fuelling station we stopped to have lunch in the country at a restaurant called Leite do pé da vaca (which quite literally means Milk of Cows Foot . . . I’m probably losing a little in the translation :). The food we ate is apparently very typical of Minas Gerais, the state above São Paulo. We had feijoada (a dish of beans, sausage and meat), mandioca (yucca), and doce de abóbora (pumpkin that’s been cooked down with sugar and spice and is mmm, mmm delicious) among other things . . . It felt so nice to eat a warm meal after having stood outside for a while. The way the food was kept warm on this wood stove was also a welcome sight coming in from the cold.

VW Beetles (Fuscas) – This is a shot just outside the restaurant. VW bugs are so cool-looking. They even make parking lots look scenic.

Show and Tell

Here are a couple of photos. The first is in Sao Paulo with Silvia, and the second is at the International Conference with a couple of kids we met (in reverse chronological order because I'm just learning how to post photos and I'm too tired to fix it).

A Day in São Paulo

Yesterday was a day for new things. It turns out that we stayed here in São Paulo rather than heading off to the first city we were going to visit, and so we got to see a bit of the city which was nice because every time I've ever been here it seems like I'm just pasing through. Silvia had class in the morning so we went left around 8 in the morning and wandered Avenida Paulista (one of the main business streets) for about 4 hours. We found a mall to go into because the weather has been pretty cold. Colder than we packed for. I know 13 degrees isn't that close to freezing, but when you've got all your warmest layers on and you're still cold, it feels just short of unbearable.

We witnessed our first mugging on the way back to meet Silvia. It was almost like watching a movie slow-mo. This guy about 50m or so in front of us (the street was busy with lots of people) was yanking on this older Asian lady's purse. But she wasn't about to let him have it -she put up a good fight and yanked right back. Everything happened really quickly and I didn't see whether or not he got it (because after it was all over she was still clutching a purse) but then he jumped on the motorcycle where another guy was waiting and they took off. Nobody did anything while it was happening but everyone was helping the lady after and talking about the scoundrels that attacked her. Silvia was surprised when we told her because in three years of leaving here, she's never seen that. It didn't really scare me, because we've already been plenty warned about the dangers of being foreigners in Brazil. But it did make us stop and offer up a prayer to the Lord, remembering that our safety and our lives are in His hands. At this point it's either trust him or stay home with the doors bolted shut.

For lunch the three of us met up with Omar who took us to an extremely hipped out (as in hippie) restaurant - no name on the outside, you walk up a flight of stairs and then past the kitchen where the food is being prepared. We payed 10 reais (about $6.25 in real money :) for our meal, which was a mix of ultra-health foods: tofu (actually the best of I've had), some kind of cooked greens, miso soup, brown rice, various veggies and some slimy bean thing that Silvia, Jess and I couldn't get down due to texture/taste issues. It was definintely a fun experience and we felt very healthy walking away. We decided that the none of the London girls would have wanted to try any of it except maybe Kiran. Woot woot Kiran!

We went to the zero mark (from where distances are measured when you're travelling on the highway), went into the São Paulo stock market building (BOVESPA) and learned all about investing in stocks in Portuguese, and walked around downtown streets. It reminded me a lot of Santiago, Chile. People everywhere, big, old architecture, and vendors running from the police with the wares they are selling illegally. We then took a tour of some used books stores to try to get some Portuguese reading but ended up with sensory overload and came away with nothing.
We ate pastels - kind of a deep-fried pastry - and then açai - it's a fruit from the amazon that they blend up with frozen banana to make like a thick shake and you put granola and fresh banana on top. The kind of thing you're happy you'll get to eat again sometime.

I'm going to have to end here for today because we're leaving to head to the bus station in a little less than an hour and I've got to get some things done. We're going to Piracicaba and staying with a friend we made this summer through teaching ESL in London. Jess is going to get to see a lot of the students that she taught. I'll try to write again when we know how soon we'll be moving on.

One last thing. I've come to the point where I'm okay with the fact that we don't know exactly what we're doing here or where we're headed (long-term), but it gets hard to repeat the same answer over and over to various people, "We don't know. We don't know that either. Nope, we still don't know about that". I'm okay with it because I have to be. Any time I start making plans beyond the immediate future, I panic and want to go back to Canada. Jess and I are constantly talking through the strange sensations we get in doing what we're doing, and the Lord is definitely asking a little more every day, "So, do you REALLY trust Me?" Anyway, yesterady I had to laugh when we met someone new and went through the whole spiel about how we came to live here or a while and we're looking for work etc. She asked (in Portuguese), "So, where are you living?" and I started into telling her that we're actually just travelling for now and praying to see where the Lord wants us to be, but she interrupted me and turned to the person beside her and said, "She doesn't understand me". At which point I laughed and said, "Yes, I did . . ." and proceeded to explain again. I know it's hard to understand. I don't get it either. I'm just living it one step at a time.

He is With Us

The adventures have begun. Jess and I arrived a little over a week ago and have been slowly re-immersing ourselves into Brasilianness. I say slowly because we've actually been speaking more English than when we were in Africa, since we'd already established English relationships with so many of the people we've been with. Plus, Portuguese felt rather awkard at first. If you can imagine stuffing cotton balls into your mouth and speaking, that's kind of what it was like. Yeah, you can get the words out and yeah, people understand you. But it feels funny. And you sound funny too.

It's been a week of a little bit of everything - from feelings of sheer bliss and feeling alive and being able to breathe once more, to moments of doubt where whoever was currently strong told the other to stop asking what we're doing here. The true truth, though, is that Jess and I can both say that although we don't really have any clear idea about what we are doing here specifically, that there is a deep peace within each of our beings that overrides all the feelings of uncertainty that accompany the unknown.

Although we lost sight of the goal at various points this week (and we haven't yet left the comfort of being with dear friends!), the Lord has already shown in undeniable ways that He is with us and that the only thing that matters is to follow Him. It means lots of letting go. When I packed my suitcase to come, I already felt relieved because I was forced into letting go of a large part of my life. The size of suitcase I wanted to travel with meant that most of what I hold onto as "me" had to be left behind. No room for the past. No room for the future. Only enough space for the present.

But this week I realized that there's more difficult letting go of to do - letting go of fears, letting go of the closeness of relationships, and letting go of the 'need' to have a plan and a clear goal to head towards. Not that these aren't appropriate or legitimate, but because if I give them too much weight, they hold me back from following the Lord wherever He will go. I'm beginning to learn to surrender the intangible things to the Lord. It's hard, because they're things in my heart and I can't just decide to get rid of them. I can see, though, that if something is truly necessary or valuable, it's better left in the Lord's hands than in mine. Things I hold on to somehow manage to crowd my heart, but things I give to Him make me free.

After the events of the past week I've come to the conclusion that there aren't right decisions and wrong decisions. Instead, I think there's following the Lord and then everything else. I'm excited to follow Jesus. It's such a strange feeling to not know where you are going, but to know that everything is just the way it should be . . . I'd like to capture this feeling in a bottle.

For the next two weeks or so we are going to be travelling to visit friends in 3 different cities and we'll be checking out some schools we've already contacted. A friend of ours has been kind enough to lend us his cell phone, so if you'd like to call us (no pressure but it would be VERY nice :) send me an email and I'll send you the number. We'll only have the phone for the next week and a half or so because we'll be giving it back once we get to his city. So if you're planning to call, don't wait forever. Of course, emails are always accepted with pleasure :)

Pray for us!