Decisions, Decisions

Right now we’re in a house that isn’t gated and walled. The front door is partially made of glass and they don’t necessarily lock it up when we leave. We can go running or walking at night in the pitch dark and there’s nothing to be afraid of . . . Nope, we haven’t left Brasil. We’re on a military air base in São José dos Campos, staying with friends, the husband of whom is a Major in the air force. It’s most certainly an interesting place to be, but I especially wish Wincy, Rebecca, Kiran and Mimi could come stay with us too, because you guys could appreciate it to the depths!

So, on Thursday afternoon we went to the school we came to check out. We were given a tour and then we had an interview (I don’t know what else to call it but really they were just offering us the jobs in person). It’s so nice to be able to talk things out with real people as opposed to communicating over the internet. On Friday morning we went back to sit in on some classes, which was great because we could get a real feel for what things would be like if we were to accept. The school is doing everything for us to get us to accept – the offer is great, and everyone we talk to about it says we most likely won’t get anything like it again. They’re willing to provide much more than just a basic salary. Plus, there’s the fact that they want to hire both of us. So you’d think that this would be a done deal – sign on the dotted line. You’d think.

But somehow it’s not. I’ve thought it through, Jess has thought it through, and we’ve talked it through – all numerous times. We’re both extremely indecisive to begin with, but I think something more than the inability to make a decision is holding us back from saying either yes or no. I really don’t feel strongly one way or the other at this point, but I’ve come to realize that it’s not because I’m waiting for a better offer or that I would rather be in a different place. I just want to be sure that here is where the Lord wants us to be. And so far I don’t know. I’ve discovered that the Lord can’t be rushed into things . . . I just have to wait until He speaks. And it’s in the waiting that faith has the opportunity to grow. Because during the waiting time I have to deal with the thought, over and over, “What if you have to make a decision and you still don’t feel anything? What then?” But I can take all those moments of doubt and keep giving the decision to him, over and over again. So it’s learning to trust, even while He is silent, that He will speak at the right time. Pray for us.

I’m not sure how much longer we’ll stay here. I’ve given up trying to make long-term plans (as in, a week ahead!). Last time our two or three day stay turned into two weeks, and our stay here is also going to be longer than initially planned. So I’ll just have to write and let you know when we’re packing our suitcases again.