It’s the end of the day and as usual, I’m tired. My voice is tired and my patience is tired, as usual. And as usual, she gets up out of her seat when she should be sitting down, and as usual I remind her that she shouldn’t, and as usual she tells me to just wait - she’s doing something. And in a moment my patience is completely spent and the words flow out. The hot words, emptying out of a tired me, un-tempered by Patience which in now run completely dry. Hot words flowing freely, carried along by the river of Frustrations. I’m just so tired of being interrupted and so tired of being ignored and tired of saying and saying and saying and wasting my breath on ears that fall deaf to the patient reminders and this needs to stop and it needs to stop now and it needs to stop with you because I’m so tired of Never Seeing It Change. And finally I get a response and I see a reaction and I see the recognition of wrongdoing and it feels so good. Even as the words flow out I feel the tricklings of Regret seeping in to cool down my hot heart, but still I continue because finally, finally I have an audience.
When my tongue is finally stopped and she’s sitting meekly in her seat and they’re all sitting meekly in their seats, I turn away with a heart half-way Sorry for what just happened and it’s not two minutes later until I’m all Sorry. I was just the way I never want to be.
I call her to me and apologize, not for the words, but for the way. I tell her that no one should ever be with her the way I just was and that no one should ever speak to her the way I just did and that I am Sorry. And I can see that she, too, is Sorry. That she wants to remember to listen but that she just forgets when there’s something she wants more. And so we come up with a deal that from now on whenever she forgets I will remind her by simply saying, Remember? And now, whenever I say, Remember? I say it partially for her to remember that she wants to listen, and mostly for me to remember how I don’t want to be.
And with every Remember? I also remember the feel of her Forgiveness as she wraps her little arm around my neck and smiles out her sweetness and erases my wrongdoing from her heart. And every time, I’m so thankful for Forgiveness, and thankful that she reminds me to Remember.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Always. Unceasingly. In Everything.
When I was in Africa three years ago, I travelled for a month by car with a group of people through six different countries. To get from one place to the next, we were constantly covering a lot of ground in very little time. I remember how it was difficult to feel as though I were really there as we raced past countryside. Catching glimpses of African life through the windows of a vehicle felt more like watching a movie than living. In an attempt to capture the blur I was hurtling through, I had a friend put my camera on a setting that allowed me to snap pictures while in motion. I got a lot of pictures that way, but t's funny how looking back at them, I still feel a sense of disapointment of never feeling present during the snapshots of time when those pictures were taken.
Except.
Except I remember how I felt each time we stopped the vehicle. Gas or food or toilets called us to a halt every so often and I can still feel the wonder of stepping out into reality. My senses instantly made me acutely aware of my surroundings. I could see, I could hear, I could smell . . . I could feel the moment I was living. It filled me with awe. It felt wonderful.
So often I live my life inside a vehicle that blurs the moments I'm living into eachother until they are indecipherable. I find myself moving through the motion picture of my life, constantly propelled forward by what feels like an urgent necessity to always be somewhere I''m not. I want to enjoy and appreciate and feel what I'm living, but in the rush of day-to-day life, how can I do those things if I can't even see the moments as I live them? My life isn't divided into moments. It's divided into dates, and responsibilities, and obligations, and appointments, and deadlines: these are the placeholders of time. And they so often rob me of living fully in the present.
But I am discovering a secret.
I am discovering the moments.
I am discovering the moments by discovering God.
I am discovering God by learning to be thankful.
I've noticed lately that when God wants to so something in my life, it seems He comes at me from all angles with the same message. Lately my message from God is: be thankful. I am aware that I have many things to thankful for, but I usually leave it at that. God is teaching me to be thankful for specifics. It's amazing to name the blessings of life as they happen. I have begun to feel overwhelmed by the blessings. My heart is starting to overflow with God's goodness to me. Not because I can finally see how great my life is. No, but because I can finally see how great and apparent God's hand is in my life. I can finally see that I am never alone and that always He is with me. This past week I had the most usual, busy, stress-filled long day and walked home from work with my heart singing out, "God is here! God is here! He's really, really here with me now!"
The perspective of my life is changing. I have zoomed out of a close-up of myself, and zoomed into a close-up of the details of God's goodness. One by one, I see them as they happen. His goodness in the good, and His goodness in the bad. I've become thankful for things in my life that up until now haven't seemed good to me. Past and present, I'm coming to see His wisdom, sense His love, and feel the grace He supplies for the moments as I live them. I'm finally feeling the moments.
First Thessalonians five contains verses I've long thought were beautiful: Always rejoice, Unceasingly pray, In everything give thanks. Those always seemed like nice words I would like to live out. But how? These verses have been working in me lately, and I've come to notice that by becoming thankful in everything, I'm also becoming more joyful, and that by naming my thanks moment by moment, my life is becoming more of an unceasing prayer to my Father. Thankfulness is unlocking the key to the life these verses describe. Always, unceasingly and in everything can be pretty heavy demands. But I've come to see that they are our promises - rejoicing and praying and giving thanks: these things are the will of God in Christ for us! And not just sometimes for some things: always, unceasingly and in everything.
Give thanks to Him; bless His name!
For the Lord is good.
(Psalm 100:4-5)
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Reflections
I crossed the street walking home from work one day last week and passed by a mother and her son having an afternoon snack together at a little table outside a padaria near my apartment. There they were, he, still in his school uniform and she, telling him something he needed to be doing just then. My eyes passing over the scene, and my ears catching the lilting sounds of Portuguese, prompted a brief inner conversation:
Mental me: Look! You live in Brazil!
Emotional me: It doesn’t feel like it.
Mental me: What does it feel like then?
Emotional me: Like life.
Just the other day someone asked me what I like best about living in Brazil. I had no answer. None. I started into answering and then stopped. As I admitted that I didn’t know, I found myself surprised.
What exactly do I like about living here? Well, there are a plethora of reasons. Now that I’ve given it some thought, I could answer it a single word. It’s the adventure that I like.
It’s the adventure of living in another language - learning it, discovering it and using it to survive. The adventure of finding my place in a place where at first I didn’t belong. It’s the adventure of building a life from scratch. It’s the adventure of meeting new people, hearing their stories, and letting that broaden the ways I look at the world. It’s the adventure of working a job I enjoy, where I’m forced to grow professionally and personally, where I’m surrounded by people I am happy to call my friends, and where I teach children who make work feel like play for a few hours every day. It’s the adventure of watching myself be changed inwardly and outwardly by a culture surrounding me, one so different from my own, and wondering who I will end up being after all this is done. And this year, especially, it’s the adventure of living alone.
I sometimes laugh at my last-year-self who cried about the life my this-year-self is now living. If there was one thing I never wanted to do, it was to strike it out on my own. I dreaded it. I love being with people. What could be good about living alone? And yet, I am now of the opinion that it’s been the best thing that could have happened at this point in my life. I’ve discovered so many things that I never knew, and never could have known had I not had this experience. The bliss of freedom, for one.
I must admit that the realization of freedom was a little intoxicating at first. I left work one day at the beginning of the year, wondering what I should do, and the thought struck me, “Wow, I can do whatever I want . . . all the time. Did I really cry about this?!” It was an easy adjustment after that. I distinctly remember times of being disappointed by people’s invitations to go and do things because I had already made plans with myself to do something else. Okay, so I did go a little overboard. But I put the freedom to good use, too. I made a list of things I wanted to accomplish, and promptly tore through most of it. In fact, it’s high time to make a new list. Life, I’m discovering, is a whole lot about discovering.
I’ve discovered a lot about me. I’ve discovered that I love to laugh at life even when no one is there to laugh along with me, that it’s still fun to dance in the living room all by myself, and that the thought of making myself delicious food at night can still keep me excited all day long. I’ve learned that food can taste delicious even though there is no one to share it with (but I still usually call someone up to tell them about it!). I’ve discovered that when no one is around to inspire me, I’m still inspired about life – I’m interested in learning and in living and in growing and in changing. There is so much I want to do and to become. Every day, I feel as though I’m racing myself to bedtime. I’ve discovered that there is not going to be enough time to do all I want to in life with all the interests that I have.
I’ve discovered a lot about people. I’ve taken to talking to a lot more people than I used to – people I meet as I’m out and about my day and people at work that I had never sat down to have a conversation with. Being on my own, I notice that people approach me to talk a lot more than they ever did before. I’ve discovered that people, no matter who they are, usually have something to give, and that I usually have something to give back. I’ve discovered that friends can be found in places I’d never looked before. And I’ve discovered that dear friends still manage to make life sweet even at a distance.
I’ve discovered a lot about God. I’ve discovered that He is always present - taking care of me as a loving Father and accompanying me through life as a kind Friend. I’m aware of Him in ways I can only be aware of Him because there is no one else beside me. And my awareness of Him has given Him opportunity to change my heart in ways I never imagined it could be changed. I’ve gotten to see Jesus more for who He really is, and not simply who I’ve been told He is. And He is beautiful. His unfailing heart of love for all people holds me in awe. The more I know Him, the more I want to know Him. And the more I wish everyone could know Him as I do.
What do I like best about my life in Brazil? It’s not any one thing. It’s like a kaleidoscope. There’s not a single color or a single shape that makes the fascinating image you see as you stare through the cylinder. All of the colors and shapes come together to make something beautiful for an instant. And with every turn of the kaleidoscope, new colors and new shapes form a new beauty. That’s what I like best. The kaleidoscope of the adventure of life. I like the discovery of all the things that make life beautiful today. Not just life in Brazil, but life itself.
Mental me: Look! You live in Brazil!
Emotional me: It doesn’t feel like it.
Mental me: What does it feel like then?
Emotional me: Like life.
Just the other day someone asked me what I like best about living in Brazil. I had no answer. None. I started into answering and then stopped. As I admitted that I didn’t know, I found myself surprised.
What exactly do I like about living here? Well, there are a plethora of reasons. Now that I’ve given it some thought, I could answer it a single word. It’s the adventure that I like.
It’s the adventure of living in another language - learning it, discovering it and using it to survive. The adventure of finding my place in a place where at first I didn’t belong. It’s the adventure of building a life from scratch. It’s the adventure of meeting new people, hearing their stories, and letting that broaden the ways I look at the world. It’s the adventure of working a job I enjoy, where I’m forced to grow professionally and personally, where I’m surrounded by people I am happy to call my friends, and where I teach children who make work feel like play for a few hours every day. It’s the adventure of watching myself be changed inwardly and outwardly by a culture surrounding me, one so different from my own, and wondering who I will end up being after all this is done. And this year, especially, it’s the adventure of living alone.
I sometimes laugh at my last-year-self who cried about the life my this-year-self is now living. If there was one thing I never wanted to do, it was to strike it out on my own. I dreaded it. I love being with people. What could be good about living alone? And yet, I am now of the opinion that it’s been the best thing that could have happened at this point in my life. I’ve discovered so many things that I never knew, and never could have known had I not had this experience. The bliss of freedom, for one.
I must admit that the realization of freedom was a little intoxicating at first. I left work one day at the beginning of the year, wondering what I should do, and the thought struck me, “Wow, I can do whatever I want . . . all the time. Did I really cry about this?!” It was an easy adjustment after that. I distinctly remember times of being disappointed by people’s invitations to go and do things because I had already made plans with myself to do something else. Okay, so I did go a little overboard. But I put the freedom to good use, too. I made a list of things I wanted to accomplish, and promptly tore through most of it. In fact, it’s high time to make a new list. Life, I’m discovering, is a whole lot about discovering.
I’ve discovered a lot about me. I’ve discovered that I love to laugh at life even when no one is there to laugh along with me, that it’s still fun to dance in the living room all by myself, and that the thought of making myself delicious food at night can still keep me excited all day long. I’ve learned that food can taste delicious even though there is no one to share it with (but I still usually call someone up to tell them about it!). I’ve discovered that when no one is around to inspire me, I’m still inspired about life – I’m interested in learning and in living and in growing and in changing. There is so much I want to do and to become. Every day, I feel as though I’m racing myself to bedtime. I’ve discovered that there is not going to be enough time to do all I want to in life with all the interests that I have.
I’ve discovered a lot about people. I’ve taken to talking to a lot more people than I used to – people I meet as I’m out and about my day and people at work that I had never sat down to have a conversation with. Being on my own, I notice that people approach me to talk a lot more than they ever did before. I’ve discovered that people, no matter who they are, usually have something to give, and that I usually have something to give back. I’ve discovered that friends can be found in places I’d never looked before. And I’ve discovered that dear friends still manage to make life sweet even at a distance.
I’ve discovered a lot about God. I’ve discovered that He is always present - taking care of me as a loving Father and accompanying me through life as a kind Friend. I’m aware of Him in ways I can only be aware of Him because there is no one else beside me. And my awareness of Him has given Him opportunity to change my heart in ways I never imagined it could be changed. I’ve gotten to see Jesus more for who He really is, and not simply who I’ve been told He is. And He is beautiful. His unfailing heart of love for all people holds me in awe. The more I know Him, the more I want to know Him. And the more I wish everyone could know Him as I do.
What do I like best about my life in Brazil? It’s not any one thing. It’s like a kaleidoscope. There’s not a single color or a single shape that makes the fascinating image you see as you stare through the cylinder. All of the colors and shapes come together to make something beautiful for an instant. And with every turn of the kaleidoscope, new colors and new shapes form a new beauty. That’s what I like best. The kaleidoscope of the adventure of life. I like the discovery of all the things that make life beautiful today. Not just life in Brazil, but life itself.
Friday, June 10, 2011
My Newest Classroom Sign
The first student I showed it to it laughed and said, "I like it!". When the whole class saw it they said, "Did you make that Ms. Joy? It's beautiful!" My kids are so appreciative. :)
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Why I Love What I Do
I was sick a couple weeks ago and missed a day and a half of school. Upon my return, my classroom envelope was brimming over with cards and drawings from the little dearhearts. I love the unbridled affection of seven year olds . . .
Dear Ms joy i love you
you stay in my heart
i'm sad why (because) you don't
come kiss and kiss.
Ms. Joy
I mis you very math (much)
a qiss
make corretas (corrections)
I love you
MS. JOY
I LOVE YOU AND YOU IS FANE (FINE)?
I LOVE WOU ! ! ! ! ! !
I love giou
HELLOW MS. JOY
YOU ARE FELING BERER WE ARE HEVEN FUN WE ARE MISSING YOU
. . . and, just think. This is who I get to spend five days out of every week with!
Dear Ms joy i love you
you stay in my heart
i'm sad why (because) you don't
come kiss and kiss.
Ms. Joy
I mis you very math (much)
a qiss
make corretas (corrections)
I love you
MS. JOY
I LOVE YOU AND YOU IS FANE (FINE)?
I LOVE WOU ! ! ! ! ! !
I love giou
HELLOW MS. JOY
YOU ARE FELING BERER WE ARE HEVEN FUN WE ARE MISSING YOU
. . . and, just think. This is who I get to spend five days out of every week with!
Combating the Cold
It’s so cold these days that I catch myself singing Christmas carols as I’m going about my business. Tonight as I waited for the city bus to arrive and take me home after a trip to São Paulo, I was feeling rather chilly as the frigid wind blew on me . . . despite the five top layers and two bottom layers, gloves and boots and I had on. And before I knew it, I was humming, “Baby, it’s cold outside”.
I know, I know, I’m Canadian and all. Don’t get me wrong: I love seasonal changes. Being Canadian, I’m partially dependant on all the feelings associated with the changing of seasons to sense that time is passing and that life is actually moving forward. Truth be told, I like cold weather. I like the crispness that’s in the air when the temperature drops. To me, there’s something comforting, even romantic, about all the things associated with fighting off the cold. The thought of pulling on sweaters and scarves and eating soup and drinking hot chocolate brings with it such a cozy feeling. Cold weather is a beautiful thing. I just like being able to escape it.
The problem is that although “the weather outside is frightful” here, so is the weather inside. The reality of winter where I live is that there’s no “but the fire is so delightful” part to the song. I wake every morning before my alarm clock, hot and toasty and weighed down by so many blankets that I have to work to turn myself over. And life feels pretty good. But it’s not long before I have to face the harsh reality that from the moment I set my foot on the floor until I crawl back under the blankets with my hot water bottle at night, I will be working to stay warm. At 6am, the battle is officially on.
I drink lots of tea, wear lots and lots of clothes, eat lots and lots and lots of food (I find that it’s hard to feel when your stomach becomes full through so many layers of clothes) and have ridiculously long, hot showers. To no avail. There are too many hours in the day, and I always end up spending some of them with white fingers and something like a stomach cramp from tensing myself up trying to stay warm.
It’s hard to concentrate on anything else. I’ve been telling people that I’ll be productive again in three months when all my efforts aren’t taken up with trying to separate myself from the all-encompassing cold that surrounds me. But alas, there is plenty of work to be done despite the cold. So, necessity is the mother of invention.
I’m quite pleased with my most recent solution. I’ve decided to bring my home life into the kitchen (except for sleeping and showering, which are already solutions in themselves). I’ve currently closed myself in by shutting the doors off to the rest of the house and I’ve opened the oven door and turned it on full blast. Let me tell you, indoor heating is a wonderful invention, even if it’s not done in the conventional way. Life seems live-able again. And besides, I only have to wait a month before I can escape to the warmth of summer in the true North, strong and free. It’s a pity the couch won’t fit in here, though.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Grocery Shopping
I love grocery shopping. I have a sneaky suspicion that I just love food. But no, come to think of it, I love all that grocery shopping entails. Reading labels. Comparing prices. Developing a pathway through the store. Discovering new products. Spending money. Getting inspired to make this food or that food. Buying myself a special treat. Or two. Or thr- alright, that's enough. I even love re-stocking the empty cupboards and fridge when I arrive home with a load of bags. Aaaaaah. Just thinking of it makes me haaaaappy!
When I'm on my bike, I try to make sure that I don't buy more than I should carry. Or at least, I will now. On one particular bike ride home from the grocery store I was overloaded, to say the least. And as I tried to maintain a very precarious balance between this and that side of me, it dawned on me that I was doing the exact type of thing that would make my mother worry about if she could see a snapshot of my life at that particular moment. The good thing is, God answers prayer. I kid you not: people and cars moved out of my pathway in miraculous fashion. As I finally reached my apartment I thought to myself, Well, it's too bad that worked out. Now I'll probably do it again. (Just kidding, Mom.)
When I go by foot or by bus, however, it's a whole different ball game, so to speak. A No Weight-Limit rule comes into effect and I'm allowed to get everything. This past month, I got on the bus and the money collector man asked me if I wanted help getting my things over the turnstyle. Yes, I certainly did. He lifted two bags over and was like, Woah. Then he lifted another, and another . . . and his surprise made me realize I really was carrying a decent amount of weight. So as I passed by a drugstore at the end of my bus ride, I decided to pop in and weigh myself with all my bags. I was carrying 21kg. A little less than half my weight. Now I don't wonder why I've got more muscle than I've ever had before. :)
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Ode to Roach
Early one morning . . .
Enter Joy, in semi-darkness.
Shadow creeps along Floor in Shower Stall.
Light.
Shadow stops.
Shadow is Cockroach.
Joy stares at Cockroach.
Cockroach pretends not to exist.
Joy stares at Cockroach.
Cockroach observes he is observed.
Skuttle, skuttle, skuttle.
Exit Joy, in search of Flip Flop.
Re-enter Joy, in search of Cockroach.
Cockroach has disappeared.
Hide-and-seek.
Cockroach is good.
But not good enough.
Dark Corner does not make Cockroach invisible.
Enter Flip Flop.
Skuttle, skuttle, skuttle.
Skuttle, skuttle, SMACK.
Smack.Smack.Smack.
Flip Flop: 1.
Cockroach: Dead.
Poor Cockroach.
Enter Joy, in semi-darkness.
Shadow creeps along Floor in Shower Stall.
Light.
Shadow stops.
Shadow is Cockroach.
Joy stares at Cockroach.
Cockroach pretends not to exist.
Joy stares at Cockroach.
Cockroach observes he is observed.
Skuttle, skuttle, skuttle.
Exit Joy, in search of Flip Flop.
Re-enter Joy, in search of Cockroach.
Cockroach has disappeared.
Hide-and-seek.
Cockroach is good.
But not good enough.
Dark Corner does not make Cockroach invisible.
Enter Flip Flop.
Skuttle, skuttle, skuttle.
Skuttle, skuttle, SMACK.
Smack.Smack.Smack.
Flip Flop: 1.
Cockroach: Dead.
Poor Cockroach.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Remember to Always be Late
I’ve been living here in Brazil for two and a half years now, and the longer I’m here, the more all things Brazilian feel normal. I don’t even think of things as being Brazilian in the sense of being different than me or different to what I’m used to. In so many ways I have adjusted internally to my external surroundings. Things simply are what they are, and there is something right about them being that way. It’s the way they are supposed to be.
Everything except for one thing. There is something inside of me that defies adaptation. My relationship to Time.
About a month ago I was invited to a baby shower at 3:30pm on a Sunday afternoon. I gussied up and hopped on my bike at 3:20pm, heading off to my destination in a bit of a hurry because I should have given myself 15 minutes to get there instead of ten. As I approached the apartment building where the shower was being held it dawned on me that I was in Brazil, and was probably arriving way, way too early for the party. In fact, I was right on time . . . to help the people throwing the party set up. Stymied.
Three short days later I had arranged to go out for pizza at 7pm with some girls from school. I left my apartment with time to spare, this time on foot. I got distracted by a cute little store along the way. Not too distracted, however, thanks to my internal alarm clock that sent me out the door in good time to arrive on schedule. As I reached the threshold of the restaurant entrance, a familiar feeling passed over me along with a thought, – Oh MAN, I might be the only one here. Indeed I was. I chose a table and proceeded to read everything in sight. Then I read through all the text messages on my cell phone. Next I scrutinized the decor of the restaurant and contemplated it’s effect upon the atmosphere of the place. I read through the one piece of paper I had in my purse. Then I just sat and thought. After half an hour I got a phone call letting me know that someone was on their way. Foiled again.
Yesterday I went to the movies. I went by myself because I’d been wondering what it would feel like to go see a movie alone (my life is one such experiment after another these days). I bought my ticket and went off in search of reasonably priced food at the grocery store, only to realize that the movie was going to start in five minutes. I gave up on the food and went into the theater, arriving at 2:20, just as the movie was about to start. Well, let me rephrase that. Just as the movie was supposed to start. It turns out I was the only one there for a while, being ambienced by pre-movie music. Eventually people straggled in and eventually the movie got rolling. I didn’t even pay attention to when.
It would be nice to say that now I’ve definitely learned my lesson: Remember to always be late. But I know I haven’t and I know I can´t. There’s no reset button on my internal alarm clock to reconfigure the culture I’m from.
Everything except for one thing. There is something inside of me that defies adaptation. My relationship to Time.
About a month ago I was invited to a baby shower at 3:30pm on a Sunday afternoon. I gussied up and hopped on my bike at 3:20pm, heading off to my destination in a bit of a hurry because I should have given myself 15 minutes to get there instead of ten. As I approached the apartment building where the shower was being held it dawned on me that I was in Brazil, and was probably arriving way, way too early for the party. In fact, I was right on time . . . to help the people throwing the party set up. Stymied.
Three short days later I had arranged to go out for pizza at 7pm with some girls from school. I left my apartment with time to spare, this time on foot. I got distracted by a cute little store along the way. Not too distracted, however, thanks to my internal alarm clock that sent me out the door in good time to arrive on schedule. As I reached the threshold of the restaurant entrance, a familiar feeling passed over me along with a thought, – Oh MAN, I might be the only one here. Indeed I was. I chose a table and proceeded to read everything in sight. Then I read through all the text messages on my cell phone. Next I scrutinized the decor of the restaurant and contemplated it’s effect upon the atmosphere of the place. I read through the one piece of paper I had in my purse. Then I just sat and thought. After half an hour I got a phone call letting me know that someone was on their way. Foiled again.
Yesterday I went to the movies. I went by myself because I’d been wondering what it would feel like to go see a movie alone (my life is one such experiment after another these days). I bought my ticket and went off in search of reasonably priced food at the grocery store, only to realize that the movie was going to start in five minutes. I gave up on the food and went into the theater, arriving at 2:20, just as the movie was about to start. Well, let me rephrase that. Just as the movie was supposed to start. It turns out I was the only one there for a while, being ambienced by pre-movie music. Eventually people straggled in and eventually the movie got rolling. I didn’t even pay attention to when.
It would be nice to say that now I’ve definitely learned my lesson: Remember to always be late. But I know I haven’t and I know I can´t. There’s no reset button on my internal alarm clock to reconfigure the culture I’m from.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
This year I want to . . .
Be happy, no matter what (Jesus promised, He’ll take care of me)
Swim
Run a 10K race
Run a half marathon
Have an herb garden (mint, dill, basil) in the apartment
Try new recipes (at least one a month)
Learn how to cook meat (especially beef)
Eat healthily
Build up a habit of praying every day
Learn how to pray
Learn how to pray what is on God’s heart
Let Jesus heal me of my unbelief
Have a heart that seeks God
Hear Jesus’s voice
Read the Bible every day
Eat more salad
Keep a tidy house
Stay on top of the laundry
Do the dishes before bed
Buy a bike and ride it for fun and for transportation
Take dance classes
Make a cake for the first time (a real one, that LOOKS special)
Face my fears, even the little ones, and do the things I am afraid of
Read more – always have a book on the go
Keep in (close) touch with friends and family who are far away
Send letters in the mail mail
Travel to new places in Brazil
Take a massage course
Speak more Portuguese
Learn how to cook Brazilian dishes
Spend time with new people
Focus on serving other people
Write
Learn to not make storms in glasses of water
Learn not to let my emotions dominate me
Grow as a teacher: be more focused on my students instead of on getting things done
Remember that difficulties are a part of life, and accept them when they show up
Not give up when I begin something, especially when setbacks happen
Finish the mosaic mirror
Build up the habit of doing things now
Discover how I like to decorate my house
Become more technologically savvy, and learn to solve my own computer problems
Swim
Run a 10K race
Run a half marathon
Have an herb garden (mint, dill, basil) in the apartment
Try new recipes (at least one a month)
Learn how to cook meat (especially beef)
Eat healthily
Build up a habit of praying every day
Learn how to pray
Learn how to pray what is on God’s heart
Let Jesus heal me of my unbelief
Have a heart that seeks God
Hear Jesus’s voice
Read the Bible every day
Eat more salad
Keep a tidy house
Stay on top of the laundry
Do the dishes before bed
Buy a bike and ride it for fun and for transportation
Take dance classes
Make a cake for the first time (a real one, that LOOKS special)
Face my fears, even the little ones, and do the things I am afraid of
Read more – always have a book on the go
Keep in (close) touch with friends and family who are far away
Send letters in the mail mail
Travel to new places in Brazil
Take a massage course
Speak more Portuguese
Learn how to cook Brazilian dishes
Spend time with new people
Focus on serving other people
Write
Learn to not make storms in glasses of water
Learn not to let my emotions dominate me
Grow as a teacher: be more focused on my students instead of on getting things done
Remember that difficulties are a part of life, and accept them when they show up
Not give up when I begin something, especially when setbacks happen
Finish the mosaic mirror
Build up the habit of doing things now
Discover how I like to decorate my house
Become more technologically savvy, and learn to solve my own computer problems
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
For anyone who still checks
I've put up more photos and written comments to catch you up :)
http://joyalegria.multiply.com/photos/album/27/August_and_September_2009
http://joyalegria.multiply.com/photos/album/27/August_and_September_2009
Friday, August 21, 2009
A completed project
This is hardly a post . . . but here are pictures of the bead curtain I've been working on. It's finally done!
http://joyalegria.multiply.com/photos/album/26/The_Bead_Curtain
http://joyalegria.multiply.com/photos/album/26/The_Bead_Curtain
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
More Photos
I've put up a few more photos.
Here's the link:
http://joyalegria.multiply.com/photos/album/23/A_Little_More_Life
Jess' parents are here with us now. It's so, so nice! We're taking lots more photos now that they're here, so I'll have lots more to post again soon.
Here's the link:
http://joyalegria.multiply.com/photos/album/23/A_Little_More_Life
Jess' parents are here with us now. It's so, so nice! We're taking lots more photos now that they're here, so I'll have lots more to post again soon.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
It's been a long time coming
We’ve just passed our five month mark of being here and to me it certainly feels like it’s been that long. So much has happened that when I think back to our first months here, I feel like that was ages and ages ago and I’m already a different person than I was at the beginning of the year. I realize that I’ve done an absolutely terrible job of keeping all of you up-to-date, so I’m going to attempt making up for that now. Get ready for a good, long, post. :)
It’s been so wonderful to have our own place, and be located close to the school. In fact, we’re close to everything we need. Close being a relative word. I guess what I really mean is that we’re within walking distance of everything we might need – school, a park to run in, a mall, a few grocery stores, downtown, friends etc. Walking distance is also a relative term. We’ve wound up walking really far with really, really heavy bags - something we would never do if we had the option of a car. But when you don’t have options, you find that difficult things aren’t impossible! So yes, we’re walkers and we enjoy it. It slows life down, but there’s something lovely about not having the ability to rush around the city frantically doing all the things that “need” to be done every day.
It’s taken this long for us to get certain things under control. Sleep for example. We wake up every morning at 5:47, and one of us goes in the shower while the other gets breakfast ready. We eat and get ready and make it out the door about an hour later, rush to school (which sometimes consists of me running beside Jess’ long strides when we are exceptionally late) to get there by 7am. The days are packed with kids and noise and papers and activities and lunch and snacks and problem-solving until we leave again at 4pm to get home and really live. Between fixing dinner, taking care of house responsibilities, paying bills, getting bank accounts and grocery shopping, there isn’t all that much time to do things simply for pleasure.
So we got ourselves into a bad habit of staying up late night after night. Not only that, but our weekends have been absolutely packed. I recently took out a calendar to find out why I feel like we never seem to get to relax, and discovered that it’s because we rarely do. Since we moved into the apartment (about three and a half months ago) we’ve had a total of two weekends that we were here at home with nothing to do. Once a month we have a Special Saturday at the school where there are activities for the students and their families, and all the rest of the weekends we’ve either had visitors, or travelled to visit friends. What this all led to was a point where I was completely and utterly exhausted. It was a Friday night and one of the teacher’s had kindly invited us over to her mother’s house for typical food from this region of the country. We were there for so long, and I wanted my bed so badly, that eventually I excused myself to go the bathroom just to cry because I was so tired.
So we started going to bed early. Really, really early at first, and then just normally early. It took a solid two weeks before I started feeling like myself again. I must say, getting the right amount of sleep does wonders for your quality of life.
Grocery shopping is always an experience. We live within walking distance, but it’s between 15 minutes and half an hour walking distance – not, say, 5 minutes. So we try to do one big grocery shopping every month to stock up on all the non-perishables. It’s taken us up until this month to sort through all the brands and prices and ingredients of things to know what we really want. We’re finally getting to that stage where we can walk in and know where we want and where to get it. The first two times we went we bought reasonable amounts of things and carried them home. But since then we’ve been getting too much to be able to carry home, and have to take the bus home. Two months ago we had a lot of stuff - so much that my backpack got stuck as I tried to make my way off the bus, causing me to drop the bag of 24 rolls of toilet paper I was trying to hold onto along with the other grocery bags banging against my side. Both Jess and I had a good laugh about it all when I finally managed to collect all my belongings and get myself off the bus (avoiding eye contact with all the people I knew were staring at me). This last trip we got even too much to take on the bus, but we did it anyway. We’d forgotten our backpacks and had so, so much weight in our hands that it was quite a painful experience. Not to mention, that you can’t just get on a bus and sit down here in Brasil. There’s the little turn-style you have to walk through after you pay the cobrador. He had to help us and our bags through the turn-style this month. By the time we got home all the handles of the grocery bags were stretched out by all the weight and looked so funny. Needless to say, none of the difficulties have taken away the joy of grocery shopping for me – I still love to do it for some reason. I wonder if I always will . . .
Well talk about groceries leads nicely into the food we eat. Lots of you from home ask what we eat (people here are more likely to ask if we cook for ourselves and I always feel a bit confused by that question for some reason). Our breakfasts for a long while were yogurt, granola and fruit every day. We were going through tons of yogurt, because you can only get yogurt in cups – there aren’t big containers of thick yogurt here for some reason. So we started making our own yogurt. That’s been interesting. The first batch was good, the second was absolutely disgusting and had to be disguised in various milk-shakes and such, and since then we’ve got a perfect formula going that makes the most delicious homemade yogurt. And it’s so easy, that I’m always on the lookout for people that might be interested in trying it themselves. It’s incredible to me that just bringing milk to certain temperatures and mixing it with a bit of yogurt and letting it sit creates new yogurt. As my mom says, it’s a little miracle! So now we eat even more yogurt than we used to, but we’ve also started to eat other things for breakfast, especially since the weather’s gotten colder. We’ve done oatmeal, cornmeal, milkshakes, eggs and toast, muffins (which are a big deal – more on that later), muesli, fruit salad, and once we got pão de quiejo (cheese bread) on the run at a bakery for breakfast.
We eat our lunches in the cafeteria at school. The food is good-tasting, and varied. There are always rice and beans, salad, vegetables, and some kind of meat or protein main course. This past month we had a special treat, though. The nutritionist has started putting on an international lunch every month, and she started with a Canadian lunch. We gave her recipes for Shepherd’s pie and brownies, gave pictures from home to post in the cafeteria, and a CD of Canadian music. It was on a Friday afternoon, and we happened to be very homesick at the time, and the taste of the Shepherd’s pie was completely authentic. It satisfied that home-cooked-meal spot on the inside. As the fiddle music played a mournful tune through the cafeteria, Jess and I both struggled to hold it together so as not to burst into tears in the cafeteria. It was tough. We both ended up crying, but held back from outright sobbing.
So, we do our main cooking for dinners and weekends. Although I guess you wouldn’t consider popcorn cooking, would you? Ha ha. We eat a lot of popcorn. It’s just that it’s such a great food. It’s good when you’re not so hungry for dinner, and it’s good when you’re a little hungry after having eaten dinner. Okay, so some of the real things we’ve made so far are: quiche, veggie-pita sandwiches, soups, sweet potatoes, crepes and pancakes (those are favourites), lasagna casserole (your dish, Susanna!), spaghetti, cream cheese and tomato sandwiches, pita pizzas, tacos (wow, that was delicious), lentils, chicken, and wraps (they have flour tortillas here!). As you can see, we eat lots of Canadian food made from our Brazilian groceries. There is no cheddar cheese or sour cream here, though. We make do but nothing really replaces either of those things.
There are two things that send both Jess and I into frantic, panicky homesickness without fail, and that is to either leaf through our Better Homes and Gardens cookbook, or to search for dessert recipes on the internet. The pictures and names of all the various pies and cookies and cakes and puddings and muffins can send us over the edge of calmness in mere minutes. We’ve made plenty of desserts - especially to take to our friends when we travel, or when they come and visit us – but we’ve had to make a weekend-only rule for desserts because we were getting a little carried away when we first got our own place. We’ve made chocolate chip cookies, ginger spice cookies (your recipe again Susanna), butter tart squares, banana bread, granola bars, brownies, chocolate pudding, carrot cake with cream cheese icing (Jess’birthday), cinnamon rolls, and recently, apple streusel muffins with a muffin tin we borrowed from our Canadian friend Melissa. We buy lots of butter on those monthly grocery trips!
It’s downright cold here lately. Recently I was talking to Aeden (my five-year-old neice) and I was telling her that I have to wear lots of layers and scarves these days because it’s so cold, and she said, “That doesn’t make any sense – you live in BRAZIL!” She’s right. There is something very wrong about how cold I feel every morning. My theme song for the weather these days is, “Baby, it’s cold inside”. My classroom has these big huge glass doors that lead directly outside, and don’t keep too much of the cold out. Some kids wear gloves and hats and scarves to keep warm. We’ve had a bit of a warm spell for the past few days which has felt like beautiful fall weather – it’s been amazing.
Speaking of school, I’ve had a project going on for the past two or three months to teach one of my six-year-old boys to read. I’ve never done this before, and am so thankful that Carolyn had already had success teaching Aeden to read using a phonics method she had recommended to her, because I would have been totally at a loss about how to go about teaching him. I’m actually not trained to teach the age-level I’m teaching here, and am completely clueless about taking kids through the literacy process. I don’t remember learning how to read at all. It amazes me that we can look at words and know what they say, especially since English is so irregular. Anyway, I knew that Carolyn had used a book called, Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons, and so the school ordered in through amazon.com and I started using it with my student. I was kind of nervous, because I had this huge fear that somehow I was going to fail and we’d make it through the 100 lessons with him still being unable to read. Just today we finished lesson number 39 and I have to say that I am truly amazed at how the literacy process happens – I don’t really feel like I’ve done anything because I just follow the book’s instructions, but it’s absolutely incredible – he’s reading! It has been one of the most satisfying and rewarding things I’ve got to be a part of this year. I think it is just amazing to watch him improve little by little. It’s kind of like yogurt-making . . . I want more kids to teach reading to now!
Well, I’ve left lots out, but that will always be the case. I think I’ll post this now and hopefully this will satisfy the emails I haven’t responded to as of yet asking for details. I would love to tell about the wonderful friends we have here – here in the city, and those we’ve visited with recently from out of town. I’m so thankful for them. It’s been so nice, too, to have spent time with families. Just this past weekend I was visiting our friend Priscila and it was so, so nice to be mommied by her mom and daddied by her dad. Homesickness has hit – not in a way that I sob myself to sleep or anything, but I miss home and all it entails. I’m so happy and so thankful for all we have been given here, but there really is no place like home. Which is why I’m looking forward to next weekend when Jessica’s parents come to stay with us for two weeks. It will be wonderful!
Goodbye for now, and I will write again. Thanks for following!
It’s been so wonderful to have our own place, and be located close to the school. In fact, we’re close to everything we need. Close being a relative word. I guess what I really mean is that we’re within walking distance of everything we might need – school, a park to run in, a mall, a few grocery stores, downtown, friends etc. Walking distance is also a relative term. We’ve wound up walking really far with really, really heavy bags - something we would never do if we had the option of a car. But when you don’t have options, you find that difficult things aren’t impossible! So yes, we’re walkers and we enjoy it. It slows life down, but there’s something lovely about not having the ability to rush around the city frantically doing all the things that “need” to be done every day.
It’s taken this long for us to get certain things under control. Sleep for example. We wake up every morning at 5:47, and one of us goes in the shower while the other gets breakfast ready. We eat and get ready and make it out the door about an hour later, rush to school (which sometimes consists of me running beside Jess’ long strides when we are exceptionally late) to get there by 7am. The days are packed with kids and noise and papers and activities and lunch and snacks and problem-solving until we leave again at 4pm to get home and really live. Between fixing dinner, taking care of house responsibilities, paying bills, getting bank accounts and grocery shopping, there isn’t all that much time to do things simply for pleasure.
So we got ourselves into a bad habit of staying up late night after night. Not only that, but our weekends have been absolutely packed. I recently took out a calendar to find out why I feel like we never seem to get to relax, and discovered that it’s because we rarely do. Since we moved into the apartment (about three and a half months ago) we’ve had a total of two weekends that we were here at home with nothing to do. Once a month we have a Special Saturday at the school where there are activities for the students and their families, and all the rest of the weekends we’ve either had visitors, or travelled to visit friends. What this all led to was a point where I was completely and utterly exhausted. It was a Friday night and one of the teacher’s had kindly invited us over to her mother’s house for typical food from this region of the country. We were there for so long, and I wanted my bed so badly, that eventually I excused myself to go the bathroom just to cry because I was so tired.
So we started going to bed early. Really, really early at first, and then just normally early. It took a solid two weeks before I started feeling like myself again. I must say, getting the right amount of sleep does wonders for your quality of life.
Grocery shopping is always an experience. We live within walking distance, but it’s between 15 minutes and half an hour walking distance – not, say, 5 minutes. So we try to do one big grocery shopping every month to stock up on all the non-perishables. It’s taken us up until this month to sort through all the brands and prices and ingredients of things to know what we really want. We’re finally getting to that stage where we can walk in and know where we want and where to get it. The first two times we went we bought reasonable amounts of things and carried them home. But since then we’ve been getting too much to be able to carry home, and have to take the bus home. Two months ago we had a lot of stuff - so much that my backpack got stuck as I tried to make my way off the bus, causing me to drop the bag of 24 rolls of toilet paper I was trying to hold onto along with the other grocery bags banging against my side. Both Jess and I had a good laugh about it all when I finally managed to collect all my belongings and get myself off the bus (avoiding eye contact with all the people I knew were staring at me). This last trip we got even too much to take on the bus, but we did it anyway. We’d forgotten our backpacks and had so, so much weight in our hands that it was quite a painful experience. Not to mention, that you can’t just get on a bus and sit down here in Brasil. There’s the little turn-style you have to walk through after you pay the cobrador. He had to help us and our bags through the turn-style this month. By the time we got home all the handles of the grocery bags were stretched out by all the weight and looked so funny. Needless to say, none of the difficulties have taken away the joy of grocery shopping for me – I still love to do it for some reason. I wonder if I always will . . .
Well talk about groceries leads nicely into the food we eat. Lots of you from home ask what we eat (people here are more likely to ask if we cook for ourselves and I always feel a bit confused by that question for some reason). Our breakfasts for a long while were yogurt, granola and fruit every day. We were going through tons of yogurt, because you can only get yogurt in cups – there aren’t big containers of thick yogurt here for some reason. So we started making our own yogurt. That’s been interesting. The first batch was good, the second was absolutely disgusting and had to be disguised in various milk-shakes and such, and since then we’ve got a perfect formula going that makes the most delicious homemade yogurt. And it’s so easy, that I’m always on the lookout for people that might be interested in trying it themselves. It’s incredible to me that just bringing milk to certain temperatures and mixing it with a bit of yogurt and letting it sit creates new yogurt. As my mom says, it’s a little miracle! So now we eat even more yogurt than we used to, but we’ve also started to eat other things for breakfast, especially since the weather’s gotten colder. We’ve done oatmeal, cornmeal, milkshakes, eggs and toast, muffins (which are a big deal – more on that later), muesli, fruit salad, and once we got pão de quiejo (cheese bread) on the run at a bakery for breakfast.
We eat our lunches in the cafeteria at school. The food is good-tasting, and varied. There are always rice and beans, salad, vegetables, and some kind of meat or protein main course. This past month we had a special treat, though. The nutritionist has started putting on an international lunch every month, and she started with a Canadian lunch. We gave her recipes for Shepherd’s pie and brownies, gave pictures from home to post in the cafeteria, and a CD of Canadian music. It was on a Friday afternoon, and we happened to be very homesick at the time, and the taste of the Shepherd’s pie was completely authentic. It satisfied that home-cooked-meal spot on the inside. As the fiddle music played a mournful tune through the cafeteria, Jess and I both struggled to hold it together so as not to burst into tears in the cafeteria. It was tough. We both ended up crying, but held back from outright sobbing.
So, we do our main cooking for dinners and weekends. Although I guess you wouldn’t consider popcorn cooking, would you? Ha ha. We eat a lot of popcorn. It’s just that it’s such a great food. It’s good when you’re not so hungry for dinner, and it’s good when you’re a little hungry after having eaten dinner. Okay, so some of the real things we’ve made so far are: quiche, veggie-pita sandwiches, soups, sweet potatoes, crepes and pancakes (those are favourites), lasagna casserole (your dish, Susanna!), spaghetti, cream cheese and tomato sandwiches, pita pizzas, tacos (wow, that was delicious), lentils, chicken, and wraps (they have flour tortillas here!). As you can see, we eat lots of Canadian food made from our Brazilian groceries. There is no cheddar cheese or sour cream here, though. We make do but nothing really replaces either of those things.
There are two things that send both Jess and I into frantic, panicky homesickness without fail, and that is to either leaf through our Better Homes and Gardens cookbook, or to search for dessert recipes on the internet. The pictures and names of all the various pies and cookies and cakes and puddings and muffins can send us over the edge of calmness in mere minutes. We’ve made plenty of desserts - especially to take to our friends when we travel, or when they come and visit us – but we’ve had to make a weekend-only rule for desserts because we were getting a little carried away when we first got our own place. We’ve made chocolate chip cookies, ginger spice cookies (your recipe again Susanna), butter tart squares, banana bread, granola bars, brownies, chocolate pudding, carrot cake with cream cheese icing (Jess’birthday), cinnamon rolls, and recently, apple streusel muffins with a muffin tin we borrowed from our Canadian friend Melissa. We buy lots of butter on those monthly grocery trips!
It’s downright cold here lately. Recently I was talking to Aeden (my five-year-old neice) and I was telling her that I have to wear lots of layers and scarves these days because it’s so cold, and she said, “That doesn’t make any sense – you live in BRAZIL!” She’s right. There is something very wrong about how cold I feel every morning. My theme song for the weather these days is, “Baby, it’s cold inside”. My classroom has these big huge glass doors that lead directly outside, and don’t keep too much of the cold out. Some kids wear gloves and hats and scarves to keep warm. We’ve had a bit of a warm spell for the past few days which has felt like beautiful fall weather – it’s been amazing.
Speaking of school, I’ve had a project going on for the past two or three months to teach one of my six-year-old boys to read. I’ve never done this before, and am so thankful that Carolyn had already had success teaching Aeden to read using a phonics method she had recommended to her, because I would have been totally at a loss about how to go about teaching him. I’m actually not trained to teach the age-level I’m teaching here, and am completely clueless about taking kids through the literacy process. I don’t remember learning how to read at all. It amazes me that we can look at words and know what they say, especially since English is so irregular. Anyway, I knew that Carolyn had used a book called, Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons, and so the school ordered in through amazon.com and I started using it with my student. I was kind of nervous, because I had this huge fear that somehow I was going to fail and we’d make it through the 100 lessons with him still being unable to read. Just today we finished lesson number 39 and I have to say that I am truly amazed at how the literacy process happens – I don’t really feel like I’ve done anything because I just follow the book’s instructions, but it’s absolutely incredible – he’s reading! It has been one of the most satisfying and rewarding things I’ve got to be a part of this year. I think it is just amazing to watch him improve little by little. It’s kind of like yogurt-making . . . I want more kids to teach reading to now!
Well, I’ve left lots out, but that will always be the case. I think I’ll post this now and hopefully this will satisfy the emails I haven’t responded to as of yet asking for details. I would love to tell about the wonderful friends we have here – here in the city, and those we’ve visited with recently from out of town. I’m so thankful for them. It’s been so nice, too, to have spent time with families. Just this past weekend I was visiting our friend Priscila and it was so, so nice to be mommied by her mom and daddied by her dad. Homesickness has hit – not in a way that I sob myself to sleep or anything, but I miss home and all it entails. I’m so happy and so thankful for all we have been given here, but there really is no place like home. Which is why I’m looking forward to next weekend when Jessica’s parents come to stay with us for two weeks. It will be wonderful!
Goodbye for now, and I will write again. Thanks for following!
Monday, May 11, 2009
There Isn't Time .....
I feel so badly that I haven't been keeping up with the blog . . . amongst other things. When I ran across this poem recently, I thought it was quite fitting for how I generally feel these days:
There isn't time, there isn't time
To do the things I want to do,
With all the mountain-tops to climb,
And all the woods to wander through,
And all the seas to sail upon,
And everywhere there is to go,
And all the people, every one
Who lives upon the earth, to know.
To know a few, and do a few,
And then sit down and make a rhyme
About the rest I want to do.
~ Eleanor Farjeon
I've put up a few more photos, and as you go through there are little stories to go along with most of them, which will catch you up on some of the things that have been keeping us busy.
http://joyalegria.multiply.com/photos/album/21
There isn't time, there isn't time
To do the things I want to do,
With all the mountain-tops to climb,
And all the woods to wander through,
And all the seas to sail upon,
And everywhere there is to go,
And all the people, every one
Who lives upon the earth, to know.
To know a few, and do a few,
And then sit down and make a rhyme
About the rest I want to do.
~ Eleanor Farjeon
I've put up a few more photos, and as you go through there are little stories to go along with most of them, which will catch you up on some of the things that have been keeping us busy.
http://joyalegria.multiply.com/photos/album/21
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Pictures
I've put some more pictures up. Enjoy!
http://joyalegria.multiply.com/photos/album/20/A_Certain_Sense_of_Home
http://joyalegria.multiply.com/photos/album/20/A_Certain_Sense_of_Home
Sunday, March 29, 2009
By Searching
This is a little something that Jess and I have each enjoyed recently. We brought the book, By Searching, along with us, not realizing how good it would be to read it. I felt like it was "sent" to me at a perfect time:
When is the Search ended? In one sense, it is finished when our hand, stretched out to God in the name of His appointed mediator Jesus Christ, feels the answering grasp and knows that He is there. But in another sense the searching never ends, for the first discovery is quickly followed by another, and that by another, and so it goes on. As I write it is dawning a new day. The far horizon has seen the bright spot of the rising sun, but heavy clouds soon covered it. However, these clouds have become illuminated and streaks of pink and gold beauty are breaking through chance rents in their filmy cover. One discovers glory after glory as the eye eagerly explores the heavens. And so it is with God. To find that He is, is the mere starting-point of our search. We are lured on to explore what He is, and that search is never finished, and it grows more thrilling the farther one proceeds.
Up to this point I have discovered that God is; and that He is mine by the mediatorship of Christ. I have discovered that He can and will teach me His way, or His plan for my life. I have found that He can overcome obstacles and that we do not need to arouse a great hullabaloo to get Him to do so. Hudson Taylor was right in his discover: "learn to move man, through God, by prayer alone." By searching I have discovered that He has strange and sweet ways of manifesting Himself; at sundry [various or many] times and in diverse manners God is still speaking (Heb. 1:1)
~Isobel Kuhn
When is the Search ended? In one sense, it is finished when our hand, stretched out to God in the name of His appointed mediator Jesus Christ, feels the answering grasp and knows that He is there. But in another sense the searching never ends, for the first discovery is quickly followed by another, and that by another, and so it goes on. As I write it is dawning a new day. The far horizon has seen the bright spot of the rising sun, but heavy clouds soon covered it. However, these clouds have become illuminated and streaks of pink and gold beauty are breaking through chance rents in their filmy cover. One discovers glory after glory as the eye eagerly explores the heavens. And so it is with God. To find that He is, is the mere starting-point of our search. We are lured on to explore what He is, and that search is never finished, and it grows more thrilling the farther one proceeds.
Up to this point I have discovered that God is; and that He is mine by the mediatorship of Christ. I have discovered that He can and will teach me His way, or His plan for my life. I have found that He can overcome obstacles and that we do not need to arouse a great hullabaloo to get Him to do so. Hudson Taylor was right in his discover: "learn to move man, through God, by prayer alone." By searching I have discovered that He has strange and sweet ways of manifesting Himself; at sundry [various or many] times and in diverse manners God is still speaking (Heb. 1:1)
~Isobel Kuhn
Thursday, March 26, 2009
We Have a Home!
And it's thrilling. I'm not sure what we were worried about before, thinking it would be too small, because it fits just right. I was telling Jess that I look around and feel like I've been given so much . . . even though I know mentally that the apartment is tiny and we don't have many things. It's such a satisfying feeling to feel satisfied.
Part of the reason we can appreciate the little so much is due to the grand finale of our first two months' living situation. I think if we had arrived here straightaway, our feelings of gratefulness would have been quite different. Don't get me wrong, we LOVED living in Santana with Bernadette and were sad to leave (we've already gone back to visit both her and the neighbourhood), but by the end our bedroom was serving us as a bedroom, a kitchen (our dried goods were stored above our clothes in the closet and our fruit ripened on the floor), and a laundry room (we strung up a clothesline back and forth over the foot of our bed)) . . . which lead to a general air of permanent claustrophobia. On top of that, Jess got quite sick and had to stay at home in bed for three days, soaking up the "crampedness" to the full during our last week.
By the time we came to see the apartment again before moving in, we were like, we thought this was too small? I still revel in the fact that when we buy groceries, they ALL get to stay in the kitchen! :)
I have plenty more to say, but as usual there are not enough hours in the day to do all I'd like to do. It's almost 9:30pm, our usual bedtime, and we're getting up extra early tomorrow to be able to get to the outdoor market in a park just around the corner from our apartment before we have to walk to work at 6:40am.
So for now, goodnight dear friends and family.
P.S. Please think about coming to visit . . . wherever you are!
Part of the reason we can appreciate the little so much is due to the grand finale of our first two months' living situation. I think if we had arrived here straightaway, our feelings of gratefulness would have been quite different. Don't get me wrong, we LOVED living in Santana with Bernadette and were sad to leave (we've already gone back to visit both her and the neighbourhood), but by the end our bedroom was serving us as a bedroom, a kitchen (our dried goods were stored above our clothes in the closet and our fruit ripened on the floor), and a laundry room (we strung up a clothesline back and forth over the foot of our bed)) . . . which lead to a general air of permanent claustrophobia. On top of that, Jess got quite sick and had to stay at home in bed for three days, soaking up the "crampedness" to the full during our last week.
By the time we came to see the apartment again before moving in, we were like, we thought this was too small? I still revel in the fact that when we buy groceries, they ALL get to stay in the kitchen! :)
I have plenty more to say, but as usual there are not enough hours in the day to do all I'd like to do. It's almost 9:30pm, our usual bedtime, and we're getting up extra early tomorrow to be able to get to the outdoor market in a park just around the corner from our apartment before we have to walk to work at 6:40am.
So for now, goodnight dear friends and family.
P.S. Please think about coming to visit . . . wherever you are!
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Two Minute Post
This is just to let you know that we´re alive and well. We´ve moved into our new apartment, and have been cleaning, and travelling about the city (and out of it) in order to collect the bare necessities of a new home. We discovered this internet place nearby recently, but hardly have the time to use it . . . however, that should change soon because we´re scheduled to have the internet installed in our place this Saturday. Which means that very shortly (I hope!) I´ll have the opportunity to give a real update on our lives. Until then, so long.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Accounting for our Absence
Since I last wrote I´ve been sick, we´ve been to and from the International Conference at the Estancia twice, we´ve done some recording in a professional studio, I´ve gotten and gotten rid of lice, and Jessica´s got sick and is in the process of getting over it. A lot of everything has been happening lately, and we´ve hit the ``I want my Mommy`´ stage. What doesn´t help is that while we were at the conference, two sets of our friends parents took care of us in various ways, and now that we´ve returned home by ourselves the absence of parental figures in our day-to-day lives is felt keenly. However, there´s no need to be alarmed. We´re doing well. On top of all the outward busyness, there´s tons going on below the surface. Jesus´ ways are certainly not my ways. I wouldn´t have planned all the things He´s done and is doing, but I can see that they are good. I keep remembering the song I learned way, way back in the day:
Whatever God says is true
Whatever God does is good
Whatever God plans He carries through
Whatever God says is true
We´ll be moving this weekend, so I´m not sure when I´ll write again for real. But as soon as I can, I will. Thanks for the recent emails. I´ll be responding bit by bit.
Whatever God says is true
Whatever God does is good
Whatever God plans He carries through
Whatever God says is true
We´ll be moving this weekend, so I´m not sure when I´ll write again for real. But as soon as I can, I will. Thanks for the recent emails. I´ll be responding bit by bit.
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