That makes it sound as though I can’t believe so much time has passed, when in reality all that has happened since January 14th seems to be too much to fit in the space of only four weeks. But it certainly has. We’re still living in Bernadete’s house, and although we’re excited to get our own place (we decided to take that apartment I wrote about two weeks ago, and are just waiting on paperwork to be able to move in), a lot of unexpected and “unplanned” events took place this week that made us especially happy that it hasn’t happened just yet.
It’s so good to be able to live with the certainty that God is in control of our lives, but there’s something so exciting about those times when He lets us take a glimpse of some of His “behind the scenes” workings. We knew that Bernadete was a believer, and we’ve all been able to speak freely about the Lord together, but we hadn’t really connected on a deep level until the Lord arranged a few perfect circumstances that allowed us to all be able to open our hearts up this week.
After school on Thursday Jess and I were preparing something to eat, when Bernadete told us that she’d made a decision about something because she felt that the Lord had told her that she was headed in the wrong direction. She shared with us how she’d been having doubts, and had been waiting on the Lord to show her clearly what He wanted, and now that He had, she was going to follow Him even though it would cost her things she wants/feels she needs. As she shared with us, I felt amazed that the Lord had brought us to live in this house. It made me realize that sometimes outward situations hide the most precious things – as we fellowshipped together I realized that we were in the presence of someone who lives such a sweet and simple life before the Lord, relying on Him inwardly for all of her needs. She had no idea, but the things she shared with us were also answering questions that had recently come up in our hearts. One of the things we talked about was having discernment, and that the more we know Jesus, the more we are able to recognize His presence (or the lack thereof) in the events of our lives.
She shared with us how when she was initially renting our room, she had prayed to the Lord to only bring someone (she was renting for one person at the time) who served Him. A lady had come along, and wanted to rent the room, but Bernadete didn’t feel like she wanted her, so she told the lady in faith that she was sorry but the room was already rented. And that’s when she got a call about us (the day before our arrival), and put an extra bed in the room to prepare for us. Now we know why she and her sister were high-fiving each other when they found out that we were believers. God’s pretty good at what He does, eh?!
It just so happened that after this we all (Jess, Bernadete and I) went together to a Christian gathering that we’d been invited to the day before, to which none of us wanted to go, but somehow we’d all said yes. I would actually like to put the word Christian in quotes in that last sentence, except I am certain that there were genuine believers there, so I won’t. I really believe that the Lord took us there to contrast the inward life with the Lord that we had just discovered in Bernadete, because what we got was an extreme outward show, but no Jesus.
Picture simplicity: we were in the back of a very simple house in a very out-of-the-way neighbourhood with a group of people who don’t have much of anything. This was contrasted greatly with the person leading the meeting, who was flashy in everything he did. From the start to the finish this person demanded our attention (in no uncertain terms), and commandeered every single aspect of what took place. He started off by asking performing “healings”, then told us when to stand, when to sing, when to pray, what to pray and what not to pray(and kept throughout this time so that it was impossible to even think let alone try to contact God), sang songs prepared background music he’d brought along, told people when to be silent (even when they were obviously crying out the Lord), shared things briefly from the word, asked everyone what they needed from God and told them that he was responsible to provide all those things because God had sent him to them (to people who nobody visits because they have no money – yes, he said that out loud), and ended by collecting an offering. Absolutely everything that occurred pointed obviously to himself as the centre and focus of our being together. He could certainly sense that Jess and I weren’t being controlled, because he was surprised at the part where he went around asking what we all need from God, when both of us said, “Nothing”. When we talked about it later, we laughed because both of us had had the same thought, “I don’t need anything. I’ve got Jesus!”
By the end I felt completely disgusted and offended that someone should try to stand between God and I, and so thankful that I can come to Jesus without any intermediary. When we arrived home, all three of us agreed that we don’t ever need to go again. Jess and I had plenty to talk about after that night! It’s funny how much the Lord can show you through contrast. I’m so thankful that God is so real when we seek Him, and that He’s promised to be found by us when we seek Him with all our hearts (Jeremiah 29:13). I felt so much for the people in that gathering who had come because they wanted Him.
In the past two months the Lord has been teaching me about believing. It’s impossible for me to write today all that He’s taken me through, but I have come to realize that there is a whole different world available when I really and truly believe: it’s the world of faith. And it does not depend on what we see, but it depends on what Jesus says, and who God is. I don’t believe so that He will accomplish such and such. If He has spoken, I believe because He is faithful. Whether or not it looks possible does not change the fact that He will do as He has promised. Because no word will be impossible with God. (Luke 1:37)
Here are a few verses, a poem and a couple songs the Lord has encouraged me with to help me to take my eyes off of what I can see, and place them on Himself. We aren’t the authors of our faith; we just have to receive the faith He is offering us, because He operates within us is as the power to believe:
And Mary said, Behold, the slave of the Lord. May it happen to me according to your word. (Luke 1:38)
And blessed is she who has believed, because there will be a completion of the things spoken to her from the Lord. (Luke 1:45)
Do not let your heart be troubled; believe into God, believe also into Me. Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. (John 14:1,27)
Now when Daniel came to know that the writing had been signed, he went to his house (in his upper room he had windows open toward Jerusalem) and three times daily he knelt on his knees and prayed and gave thanks before his God, because he had always done so previously. So Daniel was taken up out of the den, and he was found completely unhurt, because he had trusted in his God. (Daniel 6:10,23)
For my faith
though it be weak,
makes me strong: (R.W.)
Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace.
Lord, now I see,
You only want me to believe
Not to change
In all my failures and defeats
To believe what You have done,
And not in what I see.
Lord, I believe,
When all around me is defeat
And it seems that nothing’s changing outwardly.
No! I’m not discouraged,
I’m believing You.
Yes, I believe,
And there is no demand on me.
Simple faith, yes , that is all you want from me.
Freed from anxious doubting –
I’m free to just believe!
Believing You,
Because, Lord, You are my success!
When I fail, all I must do is just confess,
And go on enjoying You –
I love believing You!
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